It seemed like such a good idea. Just a nice banquet of world leaders to celebrate the 2018 Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony.
What could go wrong? Everybody was there in the peaceful spirit of the Olympics. Leaders from Russia, USA, Germany, Israel, Pakistan, Venezuela, North Korea, China, Japan, Egypt, United Kingdom, South...
In a cost cutting move, Sesame Workshop today announced that the Monsanto Company (NYSE: MON) has become its corporate sponsor.
Sesame Workshop president Jeffrey D. Dunn said that “In partnering with Monsanto, we can be sure to provide the best genetically engineered seeds and Roundup-purified products for our kids.”
...
Ram has created a hologram of the Prophet Muhammad to apologize for its Super Bowl ad.
The Super Bowl ad proved controversial because it overlaid Martin Luther King’s words atop Americans doing altruistic things, as if acts of service were somehow related to that damn truck, as if buying another heap of fossil-fuel-guzzling-future-scrap-metal...
A proton inside of a carbon element is having an existential crisis lately.
“How?” muttered the distraught proton, who along with 5 others form a carbon element inside of a collective of molecules and cells that make up Trump’s Patriotic Flag Post. “Over the years we’ve advanced so far as a...
A mangrove along the Irrawaddy River in Myanmar is boasting 100,000 new saplings a day, thanks to drone technology.
“I enjoy spreading my seed as far as possible,” said the potent male tree in a Tilted Glass exclusive interview as it splashed its roots in the coastal saline. “It’s a...
Nick Foles was fired from the Philadelphia Eagles today after calling Tom Brady’s young daughter, Vivian, an “annoying little pissant” during an on-air discussion.
“We are disappointed and embarrassed by Nick Foles’ on-air comments,” a statement from the Eagles organization read. “His remarks were utterly indefensible, and mean-spirited commentary directed...
Entitled “The Last Straw Act,” the State of California has passed a bill to execute anyone caught using plastic straws. This law spans all types of disposable plastic: Fans of single-use plastic bags and plastic silverware shall not be spared.
Citing environmental disaster in our oceans, marine life, coral reefs...
Harvey Weinstein was recently banned from taking his colony of "emotional-support fire ants“ on board a Virgin Airlines flight.
Virgin says this was explained to the traveller before he arrived at JFK international. In wake of this, Virgin and other airlines are scurrying to update their policies to deal with...
[Updated May 2018 - Hawaii's Kilauea volcano]
What I first saw an ad of a man golfing during a volcanic explosion, I was hooked. It struck me as a real life example of collage artist Winston Smith, who is most well known for his work with the punk rock group the...
Districts in Michigan, NE Ohio, the Bahamas, Saudi Arabia, & the Congo All Affected
Hell has officially frozen over today. All schools are closed. This includes districts within Ashtabula County and the Amazon Rainforest.
Todd Mythos, our in house meteorologist at The Tilted Glass, has been analyzing the cold scientific...
For Trump’s State of the Union speech today, he called “Miss America at least a 9, probably a 10. She gets turned on by freedom, which makes her a bit wild and kinky; but she also likes to be tied down. Just my type.”
The president went on to explain...
Citing “please just shut up, all of you, there’s too much noise,” silence—the sound of sweet sweet silence—has won all the awards at the 60th Grammy Awards show Sunday.
This includes:
Record of the year Album of the year Song of the year Best new artist Best pop solo performance...
Roger Federer defeated Marin Čilić today in the Australian Open, winning his 20th grand slam cup. A legendary achievement for any athlete, especially at his age. And a reminder why we should devote ourselves to stuff that doesn’t matter.
Society teaches us that we must work hard for ourselves, our...
The Maneki Neko—aka the Fortune Cat or Good Luck Cat—originated in Tokyo or Kyoto. The earliest records appear in a chronology of the Edo period, dating back to 1852. Spreading quickly, it became a common fixture in the stores of many Asian merchants to bring good luck.
But that’s just the cover...
The world-renowned British theoretical physicist—known for his contributions to the fields of cosmology, general relativity, and quantum gravity—has gotten really into Hole lately.
“I love the shape of her mouth as she screams,” he said in an exclusive interview with The Tilted Glass. “So circular. Love has this sweet but bad vibe. ...
THE FATE BUTTON
We bought you this mysterious Facebook button at great expense. This button shows your future... your deeply tragic, yet comforting, fate.
Click the red button to do learn what that mystics have studied for years. Or click the blue button to get out of here and never know your tragic yet comforting future.
...
In the Appalachian foothills lives the Elder Johanus, a zen master who has never seen a computer, nor has a bank account. He offers these 8 unusual investment tips.
Our lawyers advise us to say that this is for entertainment purposes only.
1) Learn to love losing.
What...
Noam Chomsky, the 89-year old “father of modern linguistics,” historian, social critic, and political activist, has accepted the tide pod challenge today.
His 1969 essay, On the Responsibility of Intellectuals, contained a critique of the Vietnam War and expressed that “intellectuals are in a position to expose the lies of...
Two of pop culture's most famous celebrities under 40 have gotten married! A testimony to the power of love.
Martin Shkreli, also known as “the most hated man in America” and “Pharma Bro,” has officially filed the wedding papers with Milo Yiannopoulos, known for his racism, sexism, transphobia, Islamophobia, alt-right beliefs, and...
It is catastrophic that things are not the way I want them to be! My reality has been distorted through my anger.
You did this to me, not me! I have no ability to control my personal disturbances.
You see, I am dependent on you to change my diapers. I...