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Gay CERN Scientists Discover New Sexual Category

It happened during pride month.  At the Skoliosexual Laboratories outside of CERN, agender ally Roman Smith was researching the cause of different sexual, romantic & spiritual attractions.

Their team of transgender pansexual physicists and demisexual-demiromantic lipstick lesbian botanists were researching the bicurious patterns within cisnormativity, when they found a new...

Christians Ban Bible For Not Being Christian Enough

A new group of Christians want to ban the Bible.  They say “It just doesn’t represent our values anymore.”

The conference for aspiring big tent ministers started pretty normally this year.  Speakers preached, praised the lord, inspired hope and abundance.  Except for that one little thing at the end: The Bible was added...

Trump Announces New Line of Jade Yoni Eggs

For Immediate Release:

Today, just in time for Christmas, the Donald Trump Corporation launches its exclusive line of jade yoni eggs.

Our crystal healing Trump Stones are perfect for women to flex their sacred kegel exercises within intimate spaces.

Trump invites every woman to insert a TRUMP KEGEL...

Trump Declares War on Al-Gebra

The following is an excerpt Trump gave at a rally last night.

COLUMBUS, OH. Friends.  There is a new kind of terrorism.  The liberals are all in on it.  The fake news is in on it.  There are reports that it has infiltrated our military, our banks, our automobiles, even our...

NRA Comes Out as Gay

The National Rifle Association is officially a gay organization, says NRA president Oliver North, in the following prepared speech:

Friends, to those who know us, this will come as no surprise.

I love a man in a uniform.  Just as much as the next man.

Are you aware of the...

US Celebrates Columbus Day by Building Giant Wall

The President of the United States, Chief “Setting Sun” Trump, celebrated Columbus Day today by building a giant wall.

“You wouldn’t believe how bad these people are,” said Chief Setting Sun.  “These aren’t people. These are animals.”

Columbus has been trying to sneak into America illegally.  On his first attempt by raft...

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