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US Celebrates Columbus Day by Building Giant Wall

Oct 08, 2018

The President of the United States, Chief “Setting Sun” Trump, celebrated Columbus Day today by building a giant wall.

“You wouldn’t believe how bad these people are,” said Chief Setting Sun.  “These aren’t people. These are animals.”

Columbus has been trying to sneak into America illegally.  On his first attempt by raft, on October 12, 1492, land was sighted by a sailor aboard La Pinta.

“Women were then raped at levels that have never been seen before,” said Chief Setting Sun of the Spanish-speaking caravan.  “They’re bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime, they’re rapists.”

On that fateful October 12th, Columbus wrote in his journal: "They should be good servants .... I, our Lord being pleased, will take hence, at the time of my departure, six natives for your Highnesses."  These six captives were kidnapped and paraded through the streets of Barcelona and Seville when Columbus returned to Spain.

Rape and pillaging became rampant and encouraged by Columbus.  Several accounts of cruelty and murder include Spanish-speaking men testing the sharpness of blades on American citizens by cutting them in half, beheading American citizens in contests, and throwing American citizens into vats of boiling soap. There are accounts of Spaniards lifting suckling American infants from their mother’s breasts and dashing them headfirst into large rocks.

“Such inhumanities and barbarisms were committed in my sight as no age can parallel,” wrote Bartolome De Las Casas, a former slave owner who became Bishop of Chiapas. “My eyes have seen these acts so foreign to human nature that now I tremble as I write.”

It is heartbreaking.  Can you imagine this happening to your family?

So Chief Setting Sun said enough is enough.  “We must protect America from these opportunists and billionaires.  We shall build a giant wall to keep such foreigners out of our soil.  They have no respect for our sustainable way of life.  They even say they discovered us?  We discovered you sneaking into our land.  You respond by celebrating rape and genocide.  You shame the victims when they speak out.  You appoint your rapists into key political positions, as supreme judges, presidents, congressmen, and corporate executives.  It's time we kick these animals outside of our country once and for all.  Build the wall!”

So that is how today the Americans honor Columbus Day.

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