grade Fact Check: Do Parkland Kids Have No Souls as Ted Nugent Suggests?

Posted on April 03, 2018

FACT CHECK

Hollywood rock n’ roller, Ted Nugent, is no stranger to controversy.  He has been accused of having sex with a 12-year-old, written a song called Jailbait about gang-raping a 13-year-old, and also adopted a 17-year-old to have sex with her.

Well this weekend Ted has turned his gaze once again to the children by tweeting that the Parkland survivors have no soul.

These poor children, I’m afraid to say and it hurts me to say this, but the evidence is irrefutable: They have no soul.
Ted Nugent

Where is this irrefutable evidence?  Do the Parkland kids have no soul?  The Tilted Glass fact checks this claim.

So, according to Scientology, the world experts on soul-havingness, a person does not have a soul, it is a soul. 

Thus: VERIFIED. Ted Nugent is correct.  Parkland Kids have no souls.

[Edit]

Our readers have quickly pointed out that Scientology is not the universally accepted book of record on matters of soul-havingness.  In fact, some people even view Scientology as not a religion but just another fast food hamburger chain.  What?  Wow.  The plot thickens.

They reminded us who the real judge is on if someone has soul.  Sorry, Ted.  It's not your Cat Scratch Fever.  It’s the one and only: James Brown.

But James Brown died on December 25, 2006.  Luckily The Tilted Glass has pulled a few strings to gain an exclusive interview with the ghost of James Brown.  After the ghost of James Brown heard our question, well, something happened.  An experience we’ll never forget.  We felt something.  Something we would had never felt had we gone to all the Ted Nugent concerts in the world, even becoming his personal groupie.  It was as if the song of Sir Duke kicked in, yet there was no music.  But we felt it.  We were there.  You were there too.  We all were there.

Yes, Parkland.  Yes.  You can feel it all over.  

You have and you are.  Thank you, James Brown.

We mix fresh silly levity and important social stances. A blend of serious, satire or outright fantasy: You decide. The heart in nonliteral packaging.

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