The Tilted Glass
We topple Goliath! Bettering lives with serious, satire, and enchanted content.

5 Relationship Tips Given by Birds Flying Amongst the Trees Growing Out Your Skulls

Mar 09, 2018

A successful healthy relationship takes work, but not the stressful kind you might think.

We asked the birds flying between the desiccated winter tree branches that grow out of you and your partners' opened skulls for their top 5 tips to making a healthy and lasting relationship.

1. Have fun together

Life is not all work and staying at home.  Be sure to take dates, go out, have a vacation.

Remember when you first met at the bird sanctuary?  The sparks were sure flying that day.  All kinds of birds soared between your skulls.  Go there!

2. Keep your individuality

This can be hard to do, especially if you are both human beings—one of billions of other human beings on this planet—whose differences are at most marginal yet we think we are so special.  

This can also be difficult if you both have trees growing out of your heads.  So like the only thing that could possibly make you really unique—like circus sideshow unique—your partner also happens to have.  Damn!

But maybe her branches grow a little longer?  Maybe his have a couple extra stems?  Whatever the differences are, find them.  Define yourself by them.  Be unique.  Be an individual.

3. Receptive communication

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you know what you partner is feeling or how they are going to react.  When you start assuming, you shut down.

Always keep your ears, eyes, hearts, and branches open.  Otherwise these birds might start feeling like a Hitchcock film.

4. Focus on the positive things about your partner, not the negative

For example, if you think: "I’m so sick of birds shitting over my partner’s face all day long," then that can be a bad thing. You will soon get caught up in the "faults," and never see the rings of amazing growth inside.

While sometimes it can be hard to turn your nose from the foul smell, still you must try to remember what makes this person amazing, such as the network of oddly-erotic spider veins enmeshing their flesh.

5. Choose the right person

This is pretty obvious, but if your partner doesn’t have branches growing out of their opened skulls, then where can your birds fly to?

The Tilted Glass
close