Reality Adjustments

Toddler Shuts Down Family Until Pony is Bought

Jan 12, 2019

Two-year-old Ronnie Bulwark has shut down his family with a nasty temper tantrum.  He hasn’t stopped crying, and “won’t ever stop for the rest of his life,” until his parents buy him a pony.

While his parents tried to carry on life as usual, the tantrum has proved difficult to ignore.  There's no peace and quiet due to that never-ending wail.  22 days into it, they’ve begun wondering if the tantrum has set some kind of record.  Or even if medical attention is needed.

Ronnie had told all his friends that the pony would be a free gift to him—a present for his second birthday.  And while Ronnie has had plenty of chances to demand this pony over the two years of his life, he insists upon having one right this second, for his second birthday.

His parents tried explaining that ponies are expensive and there are cheaper and better ways to travel.  But the two-year-old is still crying.  Now he says it's a "pony emergency."

It's normal for two-year-olds to throw huge fits if they know they'll get their way.  Children are not inherently spoiled—they get spoiled by their parents, families, or the hundreds of millions of dollars in trust funds Ronnie knows is all his.

His parents have begun joking about more extreme tactics, such as not changing his diapers, not breast feeding him, or giving him up for adoption.  But that’s just cruel.  It’s their offspring and they are stuck with him.

Recently, Ronnie’s dad looked to his wife and asked “Are we prepared to actually enforce this?  Or should we just buy the damn pony?”

Last seen, Ronnie had been crying for so long that he seemed to forget what he was crying about, and is now saying there’s a monster in his bedroom and demanded they get rid of it.

The Tilted Glass