It is I, your father and midwife, Donald J. Trump.

Have you considered the moment your mother and I conceived you in a furnace of passion?

Babies come from outer space.  They arrive in a cosmic jet that only billionaires can charter.  Because when you’re a billionaire you can do anything...

New parents Lisa and Steve brought their 1 and 4-year olds to a small house party of intimate friends.

They began their first conversation with "So, you still aren’t expecting, are you?” When they saw a friend putting salt on a salad: “Salt is really bad for you.  We never...

Two-year-old Ronnie Bulwark has shut down his family with a nasty temper tantrum.  He hasn’t stopped crying, and “won’t ever stop for the rest of his life,” until his parents buy him a pony.

While his parents tried to carry on life as usual, the tantrum has proved difficult...

The Chinese have become the first to land a spacecraft on the dark side of the moon.

The BBC reports that the Chinese spacecraft is carrying six live species: cotton, rapeseed, potato, fruit flies, yeast, and arabidopsis (a flowering plant). The goal is to form a mini-biosphere.

These invasive species...

Internet family, help!  All I did was send my girlfriend a positive link.  I just wanted her opinion.  The headline read “10 reasons why you’re the problem and it’s actually you who is toxic in our relationship.”

She got so mad, even before reading it.  Not fair!

Once you...

Claim:

Trump’s personal doctor was shocked to discover that Trump defecates more pounds per day than he consumes per day.  

Since outputs can not be greater than inputs, this breaks the Law of Conservation of Energy, which states matter is neither created nor destroyed.

Origin:

The...

Next time you hear a friend talk chemtrails, correct them.  They’re actually called kaletrails.

A recent study proves that chemtrails are real and its chemical agent is kale.

What is the chemtrail “conspiracy”?

To understand kaletrails, it helps first to have a basic understanding of chemtrails.

The chemtrail conspiracy is the belief...

A beloved white house horse suddenly died today, just a few moments after this photo was taken.

How did such a healthy young horse suddenly pass?  It’s a sad mystery indeed.

According to vets, the most common cause of sudden death in horses is a ruptured heart.  Perhaps it had an aneurysm in its aorta...

Well Windows ’95 took me until ’15, but thanks to Clippy I am here now officially a PowerPoint master!  Yes!

You’d think I’d be happy, right?  But NOOOOO I was walking to the payphone this morning to call my grandson, when I decided to buy the old New York...

An Irving, Texas man faces charges after police say they found his young puppy locked inside of a hot planet.

It happened around 3:30 PM on Sunday.  An unnamed couple first noticed the puppy clawing at the sidewalk and barking in circles. The owner was nowhere to be found, so...

Part 1: Word Soup

If you’re like me, you have seen the LGBTQ scene exploding with new definitions of gender in the past few years: gay, lesbian, heterosexual, bisexual, polysexual, pansexual, omnisexual, skoliksexual, demisexual, grey-ace, asexual, polyamorous, intersex, MTF, FTM, agender, genderfluid, bigender, trigender, pangender, genderqueer, demigirl, demiboy, androgyne, intergender...