Today a vegetarian committed a homicidal massacre against a family of raw carrots. “I picked them myself from my organic garden,” said Jane Tiller, 33, from Ashland Oregon, with...

🤔Out of all people, we are looking to our readers to answer this question. You know best. Please help me.  Because our readers are known for your abilities to fly past enemies...

Homo Sapiens, Latin for "wise man”, has been behaving pretty stupidly as of late, driving itself to the brink of extinction. With numbers approaching 8 billion, it can be difficult to believe...

In response to the wave of mass shootings, today the NRA has released a list of 10 Tips to Stay Safe.   This 10 step plan will ensure as much safety as possible for a better America....

The world celebrates Stephen Hawking’s final journey today, as he decided to enter a black hole. Stephen Hawking, left this dimension at 76 years old, the same day as Albert Einstein's birthday,...

Hark!  Greetings to you, my friend, in this time of the dictatorship of mechanical devices! You, like me, surely remember the days of yesteryear, before this town installed its...

A successful healthy relationship takes work, but not the stressful kind you might think. We asked the birds flying between the desiccated winter tree branches that grow out of you...

NASA has announced its next space shuttle mission. “We're sending our resident aliens to invade Earth,” said NASA spokesperson, Gary Jupiter.  “Mostly they'll come, hover ominously...

How I Yearn for the Machines of the Future to Come! The steam engine.  The spinning jenny.  The cotton gin.  The telegraph.  The sewing machine! Bring me your steel and...

What a beautiful elephant.  Don’t you think? Did you know elephants are the only mammal that can’t jump? They purr like cats do. Elephants love water.  They use their...

YOU ARE WEAK.  YOU HAVE NO DISCIPLINE! You damn weaklings!  And all your strutting about how you want to ebb and flow and bend with the wind with the supple grace of a...

A mangrove along the Irrawaddy River in Myanmar is boasting 100,000 new saplings a day, thanks to drone technology. “I enjoy spreading my seed as far as possible,” said the potent male tree in...

Districts in Michigan, NE Ohio, the Bahamas, Saudi Arabia, & the Congo All Affected Hell has officially frozen over today.  All schools are closed.  This includes districts within...

The world-renowned British theoretical physicist—known for his contributions to the fields of cosmology, general relativity, and quantum gravity—has gotten really into Hole...

The entire global pharmaceutical industry today has checked into an addiction treatment center in Orange Country. “Our little Drugs has picked up a trillion dollar-habit,” said its concerned...

The Earth has been spared a catastrophe! Hostile aliens traveling from the Pleiades cluster with the intent to destroy Earth and devour all of our resources, have arrived to find our home...

Cupid has arrived this Christmas season! The Tilted Glass brings to you a collection of these stunning timbers.  "Truth exists for the wise, beauty for the feeling heart."Friedrich Schiller And...

by Gary Buho, Former Park Ranger The greatest threat to society is not Trump.  It's not Obama, nor Buddhist meditation, nor nuclear weapons, nor global warming, nor health food, nor terrorists,...

Who could blame me for falling so easily? This maned wolf has it all.  Poise.  Charm.  Manners.  Great shoes.   And there's more.   A great...