I Finally Learned PowerPoint, Now The Quantum Internet!?
Oct 26, 2018
Well Windows ’95 took me until ’15, but thanks to Clippy I am here now officially a PowerPoint master! Yes!
You’d think I’d be happy, right? But NOOOOO I was walking to the payphone this morning to call my grandson, when I decided to buy the old New York Tribune from the corner newsie, Lil’ Earl. I opened the 'Trib up to page 3 and lo and behold - as if PowerPoint wasn’t hard enough - now they're telling me I need to learn the QUANTUM INTERNET!?
How am I expected to create a quantum trusted-node and gain access to a distribution network of ENTANGLED states, when Internet Explorer 6 keeps crashing on me!?
How can I instruct my QUBITS to teleport into YOUR memory banks when the tutorial CD keeps skipping before chapter 2!?
This isn’t fair! Look at this drawing I did of my cat in MS Paint:
Perfect, right? MS Paint lets me express myself in new ways, but NOOOOO now it's not good enough - NOW I’m supposed to render my 2D drawing into the 11th-dimension of the unified superstring M-theory! This isn’t Schrödinger's cat, people! This is a picture of my Muffy. He would have turned 10 on Monday. But he died, bless his heart. Now he lives up in heaven in the 11th dimension.
Dammit, what’s a PowerPoint Grandmother to do!