Reality Adjustments

I Finally Learned PowerPoint, Now The Quantum Internet!?

Oct 26, 2018

Well Windows ’95 took me until ’15, but thanks to Clippy I am here now officially a PowerPoint master!  Yes!

You’d think I’d be happy, right?  But NOOOOO I was walking to the payphone this morning to call my grandson, when I decided to buy the old New York Tribune from the corner newsie, Lil’ Earl.  I opened the 'Trib up to page 3 and lo and behold - as if PowerPoint wasn’t hard enough - now they're telling me I need to learn the QUANTUM INTERNET!?

How am I expected to create a quantum trusted-node and gain access to a distribution network of ENTANGLED states, when Internet Explorer 6 keeps crashing on me!?

How can I instruct my QUBITS to teleport into YOUR memory banks when the tutorial CD keeps skipping before chapter 2!?

This isn’t fair!  Look at this drawing I did of my cat in MS Paint:

Perfect, right?  MS Paint lets me express myself in new ways, but NOOOOO now it's not good enough - NOW I’m supposed to render my 2D drawing into the 11th-dimension of the unified superstring M-theory! This isn’t Schrödinger's cat, people!  This is a picture of my Muffy.  He would have turned 10 on Monday.  But he died, bless his heart.  Now he lives up in heaven in the 11th dimension.

Dammit, what’s a PowerPoint Grandmother to do!

The Tilted Glass