Reality Adjustments

Fact Check: Does Trump Defecate More Than He Eats?

Dec 11, 2018


Trump’s personal doctor was shocked to discover that Trump defecates more pounds per day than he consumes per day.  

Since outputs can not be greater than inputs, this breaks the Law of Conservation of Energy, which states matter is neither created nor destroyed.


The claim began with this article on the Internet.  In it, we wrote that Trump’s personal doctor, Dr. Harold Bornstein, began noticing peculiar patterns in Trump’s bowel movements when evaluating Trump’s health during his 2016 presidential campaign.

The average person eats between 3 to 5 pounds a day.  And while Trump’s average of 11 pounds a day was higher than the median, it came nowhere close to the 27 pounds of feces he emitted per day. 

If true, Trump is defying known laws of physics and is of considerable interest to scientists, national security, and the Guinness book of world records (category: quantity of feces produced by one human in a lifetime).

In Bornstein’s own crude words: “Trump is a veritable shit storm.”

Investigation of Claim:

Of dubious verity, Dr. Bornstein is known for making outrageous statements.  In the 2016 campaign, Bornstein also claimed that the overweight president’s health is “astonishingly excellent” and that Trump “will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.”

To confirm, The Tilted Glass headed straight for the Don to fact check this claim.  We petitioned the president for access to his diet and bowel movements under Freedom of Information Act (FOIA).  Unfortunately, Trump signed an executive order concealing his feculence, stating “As long as I am number 1, you will not touch my Mike Pence.  Or for that matter anything I do say or do do.”  And then we were discharged from the room.


In summary: It might be true, it might be false.  Until either hard or soft evidence is produced, this claim is officially undetermined.

Related Article: Trump cuts Yellowstone, says “Who needs Old Faithful when my anus erupts every hour on the hour?”

The Tilted Glass