Reality Adjustments

Hologram Princess Diana to Appear at Royal Wedding

May 18, 2018

Meghan Markle’s Hollywood side shall be projected in all its glory.  A script straight out of Coachella 2012 where hologram TuPac famously performed live with Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre.

The Tilted Glass’s team of elite paparazzi has spied and confirmed the bride’s plans.  Markle has commissioned a hologram of the groom’s late mother to make a surprise appearance, say some tender words, and share a tearful dance with the awestruck groom.

The hologram is the creation of the same SFX studio that worked on the CGI for Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace and Plan 9 from Outer Space.

Fake news might call this effect a hologram, but the process is actually a 19th century reflection technique called Pepper’s Ghost, where light is refracted at an angle off of an invisible glass screen.

With all the weed and prescription drugs surely throbbing through the Royal Wedding, a good number of attendees may actually believe they are witnessing a reincarnation.  

Some are calling this a tasteless and shameless way for the American actress to gain media attention, become even more famous, and eventually run against Donald Trump for US president in 2020, with Prince Harry becoming the first gentleman.  After all, the newlywed couple has a slim chance at ever becoming King and Queen of England, since William and Kate are a step ahead of them in the lineage line.

It is well known that Princess Diana famously died in a 1997 car crash while her driver tried to flee paparazzi through the Pont de l'Alma tunnel in Paris.  She will not be able to flee paparazzi this time as well.  

All the clickbait headlines shall continue to drag her out, time and again, for one last show, one last flip of the wrist, one last projection of empty form, at odd angles, to give the public what it wants in an endless matrix of holograms.  O, hark!

Shape without form, shade without colour,
Paralysed force, gesture without motion;
Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to death's other Kingdom
Remember us -- if at all -- not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the hollow men
The stuffed men.

A bit from the poem The Hollow Men, by T.S. Eliot, a British poet whose hologram too shall appear at the wedding.  He shall reappear to recite the verses you love so much at the royal wedding you cannot miss.  For you too are invited.  It is coming to your very home.  Through this very screen.  It is your hologram wedding.  For you are the bride and groom and paparazzi.  You are the photographer and the photographed.


The Tilted Glass