Reality Adjustments

High School Bully Just Won Vegas Casino Jackpot

Jan 06, 2018

In Las Vegas today, at the Bellagio Casino, a man who made high school miserable for many kids just won big at the Megabucks slot machine.  The total payout was $31,513,231.78.

Doug Jordan, whose threatening tactics forced others to take the long way to class, be late, and get a detention, was in Las Vegas for the weekend “to drink with my buddies and put the sin back in Sin City.  Woo!”

Doug had a knack for seeking out those who were too thin, too big, too short, too tall.  People of different ethnicities.  People with special needs.  People who had an embarrassing event.  Those who were a bit more creative.  The ones who eventually left their backwoods home town to seek a place of more acceptance and put an end to bullying once and for all.

Doug also had a knack at the Megabucks machine.  When asked his technique, Doug replied, “There I was, playing for about five minutes on a $20 Jackson, when suddenly it freaked out.  I heard sirens and lights blasting.  I thought they finally caught up with me.  I was about to run out of there, but then I realized, I won!  I guess I’m just lucky.  They say that jackpot hadn’t been won in 15 years.”

When asked what he would do with the money, he replied, “Oh man.  I’m going to live in hotels and build the strip club of my dreams.  This is going to be awesome!”

The Tilted Glass