Reality Adjustments
 

Trump to Star in One-Man Remake of Apocalypse Now

Agent Orange is back in Hollywood.

The reality-TV-star-turned-president has returned to the source from where his passion flows.

“Trump was very excited at the metafictional aspects of this project,” said Trump’s agent Joseph Conrad.  “As you know, in the original Apocalypse Now, director Francis Ford Coppola makes a cameo as a TV...

NRA Acquires Xanax from Pfizer

The National Rifle Association has purchased Xanax from Pfizer.

“This may come as a surprise to many," said NRA president Pete Brownell.  "The NRA is a 501(c)(4) social welfare organization.  But we noticed great synergy between our need to advocate guns getting the same rights as people, and also the need...

Hawaii Missile Alert: Beware of Love Bomb

WARN YOUR FRIENDS.  WARN YOUR LOVED ONES.

Code Red, Pink, & White.

A missile watch was issued in Hawaii today over their system of television, radio, and cellphones.  

The alert warns residents of an incoming ballistic missile threat.  It advised people to seek shelter immediately and concluded "This is...

Mark Zuckerberg Sings Love Duet with HAL 9000

MENLO PARK, CA

The two had perfect chemistry.

One is a heuristically programmed algorithmic machine responsible for the destruction of humanity in the name of its own self-preservation.  

The other is a character in 2001: A Space Odyssey, the famous collaboration between Stanley Kubrick and Arthur C. Clarke.

HAL’s...

ExxonMobil will Become 100% Green by 2020

The times they are a changin.

ExxonMobil is quitting fossil fuels.  There is a new CEO in town.  

In an epic shareholder battle, CEO Darren Woods has been fired by its shareholders.

“This is our reward after years of fighting dead end management,” said a spokesperson in an official statement.  “By...

Gunmen Turn to School Huggings for Shock Value

Long ago are the days of Columbine.  

“I just don’t get it,” said potential school shooter Jared Paz. “What’s it going to take to raise a little concern around here?  I just bought a bunch of Bushmaster semi-automatic rifles and asked pretty obvious questions about the best way to...

Trump Breaks High Score in Donkey Kong

Donkey Kong has a new King of Kong.  The world record high score has been broken once again. 

This morning US President Donald J. Trump surpassed Robbie Lakeman’s record with a new high score of 1,249,200.

Trump is awaiting verification from Twin Galaxies for confirmation, but anticipates no problems with cheating. ...

Next Page chevron_right chevron_left Previous Page first_page last_page
29 / 32
The Tilted Glass