The Tilted Glass
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Hawaii Missile Alert: Beware of Love Bomb

Feb 14, 2018

WARN YOUR FRIENDS.  WARN YOUR LOVED ONES.

Code Red, Pink, & White.

A missile watch was issued in Hawaii today over their system of television, radio, and cellphones.  

The alert warns residents of an incoming ballistic missile threat.  It advised people to seek shelter immediately and concluded "This is not a drill.”

It felt like the missile alert from just one month ago.  One that gave 38 minutes of heightened panic to residents until it proved to be false, just a test that was accidentally released as if real.

But the alert today is much different.  The alert today is real.

A rogue terrorist by the name of Cupid has flown to Hawaii to deliver the Love Bomb.

NORAD is trying to track him on their radar, but Cupid proves to be elusive.

Cupid, the son of Venus and Mars, has left a message that he is going to “shake things up.”

“Look Hawaii,” said the scantily clothed demigod.  “You have your ‘warning,’ but I strike without warning.  You have your ‘defense,’ but I pass through all defenses.  I am going to bomb the shit out of you.  I will mess your shit up.  I am going to hit you right where you need it the most.  It’s gonna hurt at first.  But if you learn to embrace it you just might realize it’s a super power.

"I am the iron fist in a velvet glove.  I am heads or tails.  I am the lion's roar for your pussycat.  I will rule you.  You may become addicted to me.  You may deny me.  You may try me with one toe.  You may jump right in.  But do not be fooled: I have the power.  And this love bomb is going off right now.  Happy Valentine's Day, mortals.  Prepare to die."

STATE OF HAWAII: BEWARE!

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