Who is Jussie Smollett? A Dossier Roast
Feb 23, 2019
Motto: I am a progressive artist martyred for being me
Flaw: Pays for criminal PR stunts with personal checks
What Can Save Him: Repents and accepts Jesus Trump as savior
Alternate Reality: Launches TED Talk tour with Emma González and Malala Yousafzai
Most Likely Outcome: Stars in VH1’s Where Are They Now? 2030 edition