It is I, your father and midwife, Donald J. Trump.
Have you considered the moment your mother and I conceived you in a furnace of passion?
Babies come from outer space. They arrive in a cosmic jet that only billionaires can charter. Because when youâre a billionaire you can do anything...
The Instagram and Tinder accounts of Jennifer Silver have successfully reached 100% fusion.
A single social media manger in her late 20s, Jennifer has converted her Instagram into a tightly-controlled dating portfolio.
It presents a visual collage of her activities, permitting the ability to receive expressions of interest...
Someone you barely know in real life has proclaimed victory on your Facebook wall. Theyâve ârecapitulated once againâ that your âargument has been soundly defeated by logicâ and that they--unlike you--âstand for the truth.â
This tedious conversation has now hit over 100 comments. Each time you think itâs done, your...
It has been tweeted as a victory for green renewable energy.
A manufacturer of solar powered tanning beds canât keep up with demand. Beaches across America are now willing up with solar powered tanning beds!
Because no power outlet is needed, the units are frequently dragged to remote places. This means pristine environments do not need...
Nobody likes being labeled a racist.
When someone is called a racist, the response will predictably be âIâm not.â Followed by: âMy boyfriend is black. My best friend is white. Iâm brown.â Or the cringe-worthy: âI donât see color.â (As if denying cultural heritage frees you of race.)
But...
KANSAS CITY - The founding pastor at The Mountain River of First Hope had what you might call a âreligious experienceâ today.
Noah Bafome built his church by preaching the kinds of things that made his heart sing: love your neighbor, forgiveness, true wealth comes from above, stop drinking, watch...
New parents Lisa and Steve brought their 1 and 4-year olds to a small house party of intimate friends.
They began their first conversation with "So, you still arenât expecting, are you?â When they saw a friend putting salt on a salad: âSalt is really bad for you. We never...
ROANOKE, VA - Randy Smith was sickened when he read the news after church on Sunday. He saw immigrant babies being ripped from their mothersâ clenched fingertips. The kids were dumped into overcrowded chain-link cages where they curled up in mylar blankets and sometimes died from physical abuse and neglection.
...
Itâs not what you think.
I have a deep bias and wish to justify it by sharing something external.
My link says that vegans are stupid. That classical music is scientifically better than rock-n-roll. That rock-n-roll is better than todayâs crap. That millennials ruin everything.
This link validates...
Two-year-old Ronnie Bulwark has shut down his family with a nasty temper tantrum. He hasnât stopped crying, and âwonât ever stop for the rest of his life,â until his parents buy him a pony.
While his parents tried to carry on life as usual, the tantrum has proved difficult...
The nationâs lesbians invite you to their veiled room.
Come inside, she said. I set down my book and glanced over to find her parting the curtain. Well, why not?
Itâs a magical place. You can stay inside. Or you can leave. Or you can come and go as...
On Tuesday night, Trump rallied the nation over his made-up border crisis. It was a live telecast of what he likes to tweet about. He summoned all the news stations to broadcast his painting of reality. He spoke of the great fears of our nation. He insisted on not paying some 800,000 government...
Today we celebrate David Bowieâs birthday by diving into an obscure and amazing stage performance: David Bowie & Marianne Faithfull singing Sonny and Cher's âI Got You Babeâ.
Aired in 1973 as part of Bowieâs rock musical spectacle called âThe 1980 Floor Showâ, Faithfull embodies an armless ancient-Egyptian extraterrestrial nun, and...
Little Rock, Arkansas.
Local bank clerk, Fred Tellers, has been asking his wife Sandy to have a threesome. What began as a random side comment, has now turned into a daily nagging plea.
âI laughed it off, at first,â said Sandy. âBut my husband has been persistent. At church...
A new group of Christians want to ban the Bible. They say âIt just doesnât represent our values anymore.â
The conference for aspiring big tent ministers started pretty normally this year. Speakers preached, praised the lord, inspired hope and abundance. Except for that one little thing at the end: The Bible was added...
The Chinese have become the first to land a spacecraft on the dark side of the moon.
The BBC reports that the Chinese spacecraft is carrying six live species: cotton, rapeseed, potato, fruit flies, yeast, and arabidopsis (a flowering plant). The goal is to form a mini-biosphere.
These invasive species...
Hi sweetie! Itâs your Aunt Sally. Why didn't you come home for New Year's? We were shootin' and hootin' all night. Even your ex came over! We just love your ex. Move back home, will you?
So about this women in congress thing.
Us women need to look out for...
In whatâs become a New Yearâs Eve tradition, Mark Baker celebrates his 10th year of re-posting how much this year sucked, and how much he's ready for next year to be different.
âMan thereâs so much hate in the world this year,â said Mr. Baker, a Los Angeles digital marketing...
Called âWall to Nowhere,â the presidentâs art project will need a whopping $18 billion dollars in federal art funding.
âI tried to get my art installation funded via national security,â said Trump. âAfter all, the arts are essential to the fundamental security of a society, our hearts and souls, but...
Internet family, help! All I did was send my girlfriend a positive link. I just wanted her opinion. The headline read â10 reasons why youâre the problem and itâs actually you who is toxic in our relationship.â
She got so mad, even before reading it. Not fair!
Once you...