I saw her once at the cafe. I see him every week at the restaurant. I see her around the temple church.
How quicky I imagine a reality where I can flirt with her. Where we are together. How I wish I could make a move. She told me her instagram once. How...
“Tell us about Jessica!” said Pete (31) to his friend Melvin (30). “Are you excited to meet her in person?”
Melvin met Jessica (27) on Hinge, a hot new online dating app. Jessica seemed very promising: smart, beautiful, funny, cheerful, attentive, and balanced.
“Truth be told, she’s not that special,”...
Janice is about to begin a food cleanse tomorrow.
It will be 6 weeks of liquid only smoothies, no sugar. In the morning she will drink the juice of 21 freshly squeezed lemons. She will be taking herbal supplements to detox the liver and kill parasites.
To cap it off...
Hey you!
I hear you talking on your phone inside that cafe, that restaurant, and that grocery store.
My! Now you are having a video chat.
Oh look, here we meet again in this movie theater. I see you texting. I see how you glow… glow from within. Every movie...
“Just to be clear, I am an ally,” said Orwellian newspeak agent Syme. “Whether you’re heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual, polysexual, pansexual, omnisexual, skoliksexual, demisexual, grey-ace, asexual, polyamorous, intersex, MTF, FTM, agender, genderfluid, bigender, trigender, pangender, genderqueer, demigirl, demiboy, androgyne, intergender, nonbinary, questioning, homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic, or aromantic.”
Then Syme adjusted their...
This is Mexico: 1840. Where would you build the wall?
The Mexican-American war of 1846-1848 took away Mexico’s land.
But the people stayed behind. People with families, kids, grandparents. There were close to 75,000 Mexicans living in the conquered territory, from California to Texas.
After the war, Mexicans had the choice...
This is America - in minor key.
The noise can feel hollow.
I haven’t read a novel in ages.
A movie is too long to shut off my phone. Clips, 2 minutes, or less.
Gorgeous music shuffles by, moving me out of time and context.
I’ve been bitten these past...
The Miss America pageant has scrapped its swimsuit competition.
"We are no longer a pageant, we are a competition," said Gretchen Carlson, chairwoman of Miss America's board of directors. "We will no longer judge our candidates on their outward physical appearance. That's huge."
Miss America's origins began with an "Inter-City...
First Lady Melania Trump has not been seen for many weeks, once again, creating speculation about her whereabouts, with many theories veering into the realm of pure conspiracy.
After weeks of silence, on May 30th she stuck her head out and tweeted "I see the media is working overtime speculating...
“Shut up!” screamed John Johnson (46) to his nephew Liam (10). “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
John Johnson is a devout atheist. And a proud one. He joined Mensa when he was 30. He teaches philosophy at Minnesota State Community College. Every year gives a portion of his...
He’s not on Facebook. He doesn’t have a cell phone. He doesn’t look at a newspaper or scribble in a journal.
He orders coffee, sits down, folds his hands, and looks outside the window. He blinks gently.
What's going on in mind? Is it a tormented tornado of doom?
He’s dressed modestly. No...
Kim Kardashian West met with President Donald Trump and other prison experts, including senior adviser Jared Kushner, at the White House on Wednesday to discuss prison reform.
"Great meeting with @KimKardashian today, talked about prison reform and sentencing," tweeted Trump following their meeting, posting a picture alongside Kardashian in the...
Tilted Glass readers... help!
You are the smartest, most well-adjusted, and most caring group of people in the world. You were also voted "Most Likely to Win the Lottery and Lose the Ticket” and “Worst Driver” in your high school yearbooks, but we’ll skip that part.
...
Donald Trump spoke to children today to honor these future World War III Veterans.
“I are very pleased your future sacrifice with us,” said Trump, speaking at a meeting with Boys and Girls Clubs of America. “Right now, as I plan for my re-election, I’m gearing up for the battle of...
The NFL has a domestic violence problem. Its history of covering up or dismissing cases of NFL players beating and raping women has gone on for many years now.
Pushed to the edge and feeling unheard, the players’ wives and girlfriends have begun “taking a knee” whenever the NFL’s official...
A-Hole suddenly appeared on the White House lawn today. And it’s growing bigger.
“We aren’t exactly sure how it got there,” said White House official lawnskeeper. “It just seemed to appear out of nowhere. I didn’t except this to happen for real. And now that it’s here, it won’t leave.”
Due...
The U.S. Postal Service will soon launch scratch-and-sniff stamps to welcome in the summer.
The series is inspired by the digital communication devices that have gutted the post office’s relevancy and bankrupted its fiscal books.
Included are icons for the fax machine, AOL, emails, selfies, WhatsApp, and the most anticipated...
The tweet reads:
Who's watching the #RoyalWedding today? It's very exciting. Nothing much happening elsewhere. Or in the States or in Texas. Thank you Jesus we can watch the wedding today! Have you seen the guns the palace guards use? SA80s! Support Britain's #SecondAmmendment #NRAThe wedding promises to be a magical...
Meghan Markle’s Hollywood side shall be projected in all its glory. A script straight out of Coachella 2012 where hologram TuPac famously performed live with Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre.
The Tilted Glass’s team of elite paparazzi has spied and confirmed the bride’s plans. Markle has commissioned a hologram of the...
Joanne Morley is proving the haters wrong.
Today Joanne shared a photo of herself in a back-bending yoga pose on the beach. On her instagram profile she writes: “Here in my bikini to prove the human form is nothing to be ashamed of. We are all made differently. For years...