Trump Honors Future World War III Veterans

Posted on May 28, 2018

MEMORIAL DAY - Donald Trump spoke to children today to honor these future World War III Veterans.

“I are very pleased your future sacrifice with us,” said Trump, speaking at a meeting with Boys and Girls Clubs of America.  “Right now, as I plan for my re-election, I’m gearing up for the battle of your lives.”

In just a few years, these children will be grown and deployed in the Middle East, Russia, China, North Korea, Venezuela, Korea, Mexico, and other "shithole countries around the globe whose names I can't remember right now."

“It’s not so important you brush up on your foreign language skills,” added the president.  “You won’t have to speak anything but American in these foreign countries.  But for those who do learn Aramaic, Russian, Mandarin, Farsi, Spanish, Portuguese, Korean, German, or even French… there will be plenty of work for you too.  I’m a job creator.”

Many of the boys and girls cheered when he showed them how it was just like a real life video game.  They cheered like some of they did when their parents took them to those late night rallies where they got to play with fire and hold their tiki torches high.  But most of the children were quietly horrified, turned back to their parents, and just wanted to get back in the pajamas and go home.

“You future WW3 veterans will be making America great again,” rallied the former Reality TV star.  “You will be defending many of my friends interests personally with the greatest sacrifice.  Thank you for your future service.  Trust me when I say that only when absolutely necessary will I send away to those countries where I've built so many hotels and casinos.  Hey maybe you'll even get to stay in one.”

“This is an outrage,” expressed veteran Senator John McCain.  “He’s insulting our military service.  He’s tarnishing the sacrifice true heroes have made."

But Trump just dismissed this as “Ramblings of an dying man, a loser, not a hero.  Someone who got captured and is now in the pockets of fake news haters.”  

Not soon long after, the band died down, the children dispersed, went back to their homes, and began googling the “Great Pokemon War” on their smart phones.

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