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MOSCOW — President Vladimir Putin on Tuesday opened a $4 trillion bridge directly linking Russia to the White House.
Days ago, Putin, wearing tough guy jeans and a jacket, stood on the Russian end of the four-lane bridge with Arkady Rotenberg, the bridge's architect and Putin's former judo partner.
Putin then hopped into...
Major developments today in missing Malaysia Airlines Flight 370.
Our staff aviation experts have found the plane. And it is well outside the Indian Ocean search area.
“It’s on Mars,” said resident sleuth, Alex Shankman. “Just west of the Eunostos canal. Look for yourself.”
Sure enough, on Google Mars, on can see the...
Some uplifting news today. The gray squirrel is off the endangered species list!
For many years, US conservationists couldn’t get enough of this cute grey squirrel.
“You may think they gray squirrel is everywhere,” said U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service acting director Jim Kurth, “but its very cuteness is what...
by The Tilted Glass Ministry of Truth
Great News, Citizens!
Today our beloved Monsanto Company has patented air. Our country's leader and master, the supremely ascended Donald Trump, has signed an executive order approving such measures.
Monsanto—maker of nutritious Roundup, protector of small farmer seed banks, recycler of toxic wastes...
I’m sorry. So so sorry.
I love you. I bought you these flowers. You, yes you, make it all worthwhile for me.
Fresh roses really brighten up a room, don’t they? I wanted to brighten up your room. I wanted to brighten you. Will you let me brighten your body...
It troubles your soul to see rich people everywhere online and on TV, since you are not rich.
But you are working so hard at your job. You may have even made it to a low 6 figure salary. But turns out it's not all that rich. You're still working hard to stay afloat. ...
The Boy Scouts of America doubled down on their mission to consume all boys and girls by announcing it will drop the “boy" from the name of "Boy Scouts" and just be called Scouts BSA, or Scouts.
Change has been coming quickly to the shrinking Boy Scouts organization, whose enrollment has...
by Elon Musk, magician
Did you forget? I’m magic. You’re living in the 3D world. Don’t you want to experience higher dimensions?
Your boring bonehead questions are not cool. Your questions are so dry. They’re killing me. They’re killing you actually, slowly, taking you outside of dazzle and into robotic...
To many, May 1st is known as the Beltane, or May Day, the ancient European holiday falling halfway between spring equinox and summer solstice.
In most countries, May 1st is also known as International Labor Day, or International Workers' Day. A celebration of laborers and the working class.
May 1st...
It’s been a tough term for the Trump administration.
The USA remains embroiled in wars in Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, and the Mexican Drug War. Each day the news seems to be more of the same, with no promise of peace in sight. It’s as if the global powers want to...
The transatlantic slave trade kidnapped between 10 million and 12 million Africans across the Atlantic Ocean to the Americas from the 16th to the 19th century.
Today, in the year of our lord 1623, Kanye West interrupted one of the ships to speak to the traders.
“Imma let you finish,” began...
The Trump administration averted a major scandal today.
Despite a 2016 announcement that legendary Underground Railroad conductor, Harriet Tubman, would be the new face of the $20 bill, the Trump administration has delayed the rollout of the new bills. This leaves Andrew Jackson on the bill for the considerable future.
Women...
The fear of opening yourself creates great...
Former Reality TV Star, casino mogul, and Tsar of the United States of America, Donald Trump, sat down with The Tilted Glass today to reveal the mystery of his Big Suit.
For those of you who aren't fully in tune to men's fashion, Trump’s suits are oversized. His knot is too...
Fans are dying to know what the new non-black...
It’s so silent…
“My preferred holy tome is a non-braille Bible,” said Mark Rodgers, a 54-year old blind man from Spokane. “I love how smooth and silent its message is. I read page after page and enter the truth of the great nothing. John 3:16 y'all.”
Mark was born blind. ...
Today a vegetarian committed a homicidal massacre against a family of raw carrots.
“I picked them myself from my organic garden,” said Jane Tiller, 33, from Ashland Oregon, with pride. “I love picking vegetables from my garden.”
She feels proud for her bloodshed.
You see, Jane didn’t eat an apple or an...
Area man Luke Trailblazer has been getting really into Joseph Campbell lately, especially the Hero’s Journey.
“I actually received a spiritual calling," said Luke Trailblazer. "I am supposed to leave my job, wife, and all my obligations. For some reason, I must hike the Pacific Crest Trail! All the way from from Mexico...
🤔Out of all people, we are looking to our readers to answer this question. You know best. Please help me.
Because our readers are known for your abilities to fly past enemies within, outside, above, and below... through the chemtrails and into blue skies where government media mind control radiations are...