Reality Adjustments

Kanye Interrupts Transatlantic Slave Ships To Make America Great Again

Apr 26, 2018

The transatlantic slave trade kidnapped between 10 million and 12 million Africans across the Atlantic Ocean to the Americas from the 16th to the 19th century. 

Today, in the year of our lord 1623, Kanye West interrupted one of the ships to speak to the traders.

“Imma let you finish,” began Kanye, “but this is no way to Make America Great Again.  This ship doesn’t care about black people.  There’s a better way.”

The ship was en route for the second of three stages in the triangular trade, in which 1) arms, textiles, and wine were shipped from Europe to Africa, 2) slaves from Africa to the Americas, and 3) sugar and coffee from the Americas to Europe.

The traders were immediately shocked by the African-American's artistic abilities, stunned by his charisma and wit, mystified by his delightful raps of strange English dialect, and titillated by his keen futuristic clothing made out of textiles not found in mother nature.  The white kidnappers begged him to continue and share upon them his gifted ideas like manna from the heavens.

“Love is the most powerful force in the universe," explained Kanye.  "I love the blacks.  That’s why we need dragon energy now to make things great.  I need your slaves to build a wall for us to keep the shithole countries out.  I'd like to meet with the captain.  I got some ideas.”

The slave traders were confused by such poetry.  For they did not understand if they were welcome to come to the Americas, or not welcome.  And if they did come, were they were making America great, or helping it not be great?

But Kanye assured everyone that YES they could all be great, but only if they came to his plantation to manufacture his Yeezy line of clothing, for free, you know, as interns to get exposure, to build their portfolios.  There was even opportunity for the slaves to study over in China at his sweatshops out there where they could work alongside children all day for meager sustenance.

The musician then handed out a box of free Yeezy brand MAGA hats to send back to Europe, finishing with “Tell your leaders we’re on Trump time now.  Y’all don’t understand us because you’re dumb and we’re geniuses.”

Wow Kanye.  Wow.  Follow The Tilted Glass for more breaking developments in this matter.

The Tilted Glass