I’ve Deluded Myself in the Fantasy of a Stranger

Jun 22, 2018

I saw her once at the cafe. I see him every week at the restaurant.  I see her around the temple church.

How quicky I imagine a reality where I can flirt with her.  Where we are together. How I wish I could make a move.  She told me her instagram once.  How drunk I’ve become consuming her image.

But I have a wife and three kids.  A boyfriend of 7 years.  I’m single, trying to behave myself by making the right choices.

Yet once again, here I am, letting myself become drunk, imagining a world with this stranger.

Even if I made it real, it’s a fantasy that will wear off.  Time will pass.  One day I’ll be back to where I am now, on some new fantasy, a new stranger to become drunk into.

The name of Beauty keeps changing. 

My life is water.  Whether it is desire acted upon or desire kept inside, around and around I'm letting the water spin.  I swirl it around and around and form a spiral that takes me down down down.

I could have been a calm lake.  But look!  Over there.  What I wouldn’t do for him!