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Cis-Man Deletes Twitter Worried Others Will Discover He Once Defined Himself as Man

Aug 21, 2018

We live in the age of public shaming. 

Old tweets get placed out of context. Old jokes get placed out of context. 

There’s also deep dark histories.  Old tweets come back to haunt you.  People have been caught using the n word.  The c word.  The b word.  The a word.  The p word.  The d word.  The l word.  The u word.  Even: the word. 

When Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 director, James Gunn, was fired for tweets from over 10 years ago, Boulder Cis Male, Frankie Lorusso, decided to call it quits.  He deleted his Facebook and Twitter accounts, happy he'd just dodged a major bullet.

“You see I’m a Cis Man,” explains Frankie, usually over cocktail hour to local women.  “My gender identity and biological sex assigned at birth align with current my gender expression.  So I use Cis Man instead of Man, ladies, because the word ‘man’ by itself inherently assumes that man is the normal position and the rest are deviant.  But I assure you, ladies, if you are a lesbian you are not deviant.  Mmm in fact you are very very normal.”

But Frankie’s manly past soon revealed itself.  He could not escape the karmic conditions that have created him.

A little backstory.  Frankie was born in New Jersey.   He moved to Boulder when he was 18 to study economics at the University of Colorado Boulder.  He became known for his violent, unemotional, and sexually aggressive traits, even giving fellow bros high fives whenever he exhibited them.  But in Boulder they had a word for his type of behavior: toxic masculinity.

“I got toxic-masculine shamed,” explained Frankie.  “I got slaps in the face instead of slaps in the ass, while all my sissy friends got way more action being anti-capitalist.”

So that’s when Frankie decided to become a radical feminist.

“It’s not like I ‘decided,’” corrected Frankie.  “But you know: when in Rome. Beside I love holding a safe space for my amazing female friends, who would totally bang me, but I’m not that kind of guy.”

And then came that fateful day.  A cis woman he’d dated, Sage Butterflybat, became partially traumatized after she realized with Frankie “it was the same old shit again just in a different package where they use the right words but all the wrong energy.”  

And although he had carefully deleted his Facebook and Twitter accounts, she discovered the Internet Wayback Machine, which stored a snapshot of his old accounts.  That’s when she learned the Cis-Male she had dated was a lie.  For cis male Frankie Lorusso was actually once a man.

She also discovered he had a taste for “doing cocaine off of hookers with fake tits.”

Devastated, Frankie was quickly shunned from his open hearted radical acceptance community.  

Last seen, Frankie had moved to Washington DC.  He quickly made a name for himself as disaster management consultant for career politicians.

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