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Flight MH370 found... on Google Mars!

Major developments today in missing Malaysia Airlines Flight 370.

Our staff aviation experts have found the plane.  And it is well outside the Indian Ocean search area.

“It’s on Mars,” said resident sleuth, Alex Shankman.  “Just west of the Eunostos canal.  Look for yourself.”

Sure enough, on Google Mars, on can see the...

Monsanto Patents Air

by The Tilted Glass Ministry of Truth

Great News, Citizens!

Today our beloved Monsanto Company has patented air.  Our country's leader and master, the supremely ascended Donald Trump, has signed an executive order approving such measures.

Monsanto—maker of nutritious Roundup, protector of small farmer seed banks, recycler of toxic wastes...

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The Tilted Glass