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Death Announces New Makeup Collection

Death has entered the beauty business.  The market has traditionally been dominated by Life.

“I’m taking a new angle on makeup,” said Death.  “Traditionally the art of makeup has been to celebrate beauty and also to hide indicators of aging. Well I’m done hiding.”

The collection covers all the traditional...

Trump to Star in One-Man Remake of Apocalypse Now

Agent Orange is back in Hollywood.

The reality-TV-star-turned-president has returned to the source from where his passion flows.

“Trump was very excited at the metafictional aspects of this project,” said Trump’s agent Joseph Conrad.  “As you know, in the original Apocalypse Now, director Francis Ford Coppola makes a cameo as a TV...

NRA Acquires Xanax from Pfizer

The National Rifle Association has purchased Xanax from Pfizer.

“This may come as a surprise to many," said NRA president Pete Brownell.  "The NRA is a 501(c)(4) social welfare organization.  But we noticed great synergy between our need to advocate guns getting the same rights as people, and also the need...

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