Your Haven from the Paradoxes of the World. Things Here Are as They Seem.
 

Death Announces New Makeup Collection

Death has entered the beauty business.  The market has traditionally been dominated by Life.

“I’m taking a new angle on makeup,” said Death.  “Traditionally the art of makeup has been to celebrate beauty and also to hide indicators of aging. Well I’m done hiding.”

The collection covers all the traditional...

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Trump to Star in One-Man Remake of Apocalypse Now

Agent Orange is back in Hollywood.

The reality-TV-star-turned-president has returned to the source from where his passion flows.

“Trump was very excited at the metafictional aspects of this project,” said Trump’s agent Joseph Conrad.  “As you know, in the original Apocalypse Now, director Francis Ford Coppola makes a cameo as a TV...

NRA Acquires Xanax from Pfizer

The National Rifle Association has purchased Xanax from Pfizer.

“This may come as a surprise to many," said NRA president Pete Brownell.  "The NRA is a 501(c)(4) social welfare organization.  But we noticed great synergy between our need to advocate guns getting the same rights as people, and also the need...

Hawaii Missile Alert: Beware of Love Bomb

WARN YOUR FRIENDS.  WARN YOUR LOVED ONES.

Code Red, Pink, & White.

A missile watch was issued in Hawaii today over their system of television, radio, and cellphones.  

The alert warns residents of an incoming ballistic missile threat.  It advised people to seek shelter immediately and concluded "This is...

Mark Zuckerberg Sings Love Duet with HAL 9000

MENLO PARK, CA

The two had perfect chemistry.

One is a heuristically programmed algorithmic machine responsible for the destruction of humanity in the name of its own self-preservation.  

The other is a character in 2001: A Space Odyssey, the famous collaboration between Stanley Kubrick and Arthur C. Clarke.

HAL’s...

ExxonMobil will Become 100% Green by 2020

The times they are a changin.

ExxonMobil is quitting fossil fuels.  There is a new CEO in town.  

In an epic shareholder battle, CEO Darren Woods has been fired by its shareholders.

“This is our reward after years of fighting dead end management,” said a spokesperson in an official statement.  “By...

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