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Stravinsky: Sadly Nobody Riots Over Ballet These Days

My name is Igor Stravinsky.  In 1913 I debuted The Rite of Spring.  It was at the Théâtre des Champs-Elysées in Paris...

My dancers dressed in whimsical costumes, performing odd and violent moves, choosing convulsive jerks over traditional graceful fluidity. My avant-garde pulsating rhythms came to define the height of modernism while telling a...

Things Are Looking Up for Me!

Lately I’ve been feeling victorious!  I feel in control of my life.

I used to always be busy hurrying—now I have all the time in the world!

What’s my secret?

Perhaps it's because I can see things from another angle.

Did you know that War is Peace?  All you people fighting&hellip...

NASA Will Send Aliens to Earth by 2020

NASA has announced its next space shuttle mission.

“We're sending our resident aliens to invade Earth,” said NASA spokesperson, Gary Jupiter.  “Mostly they'll come, hover ominously for a few days, blot out the sun, and scare people with threats of anihilation.  Then whoosh disappear!  It’s going to be sweet.”

The controversial move...

Death Announces New Makeup Collection

Death has entered the beauty business.  The market has traditionally been dominated by Life.

“I’m taking a new angle on makeup,” said Death.  “Traditionally the art of makeup has been to celebrate beauty and also to hide indicators of aging. Well I’m done hiding.”

The collection covers all the traditional...

Trump to Star in One-Man Remake of Apocalypse Now

Agent Orange is back in Hollywood.

The reality-TV-star-turned-president has returned to the source from where his passion flows.

“Trump was very excited at the metafictional aspects of this project,” said Trump’s agent Joseph Conrad.  “As you know, in the original Apocalypse Now, director Francis Ford Coppola makes a cameo as a TV...

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The Tilted Glass