I didn’t stop the fire, by Donald Trump.
Today I step over scorched California. I rise above its ashes.
When Robert Oppenheimer witnessed the vast magnificence of the first atomic bomb, he was struck by a line in the Bhagavad Gita: “Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.”
...
Greetings. I am Fortuna, the goddess from Rome. I stir your deepest fears and desires.
Behold my cornucopia! I offer you good luck… and bad. At times you will see me as veiled, like Lady Justice—but unlike Justitia, I carry no level balance on my arm.
You may be thinking...
November Rain, by Donald Trump
When I was a child, I watched children play in the rain. Up in my tower, above the clouds, how the other children played as if rain was a blessing.
Then I turned from my tower window, back to my television. I watched shows...
Norm Macdonald once said "The perfect joke...
The US midterm elections have been an act of carnage. Divisive politics. Nazis. Racists. Caravan invasions. Rapists. Guns out. Big Jesus. Relations between friends and families have been torn.
It lacked any semblance of decency… or truth really. Sometimes it felt like it was all just spin to reflect the...
Top of the day to you, sage readers!
We are back with a special election day letter from one of our least popular authors: Mr. Duncan Haywood-Petticoat Esq.!
As many of you know, our former colonies on the other side of Drake’s great sea are having a bit of the...
The Russian military have been invited to serve as a third-party international monitor to the United States democratic process.
“Americans demand free and fair elections!” said Donald Trump in a recent tweet. “So I’ve invited unbiased international election monitors to supervise our democratic process. No fake votes!”
On Friday...
This is my Halloween hangover. My Halloween walk of shame.
My girlfriends and I dressed as a coven of sexy witches. Our group was the toast of town. We put a lot into our costumes. Spirits were riding high on the hope of a beautiful night.
Then I danced...
For Halloween this year, I decided to go as someone amazing. It can feel scary, yet not as creepy as it may seem.
Rain for a thirsty world. I came in from outside where I felt the rain patter upon my costume.
My costume fills the room with a refreshing scent. ...
The following is an excerpt Trump gave at a rally last night.
COLUMBUS, OH. Friends. There is a new kind of terrorism. The liberals are all in on it. The fake news is in on it. There are reports that it has infiltrated our military, our banks, our automobiles, even our...
Well Windows ’95 took me until ’15, but thanks to Clippy I am here now officially a PowerPoint master! Yes!
You’d think I’d be happy, right? But NOOOOO I was walking to the payphone this morning to call my grandson, when I decided to buy the old New York...
Mark Zuckerberg is a billionaire today.
“I found 2 bucks outside the gas station and thought 'Why not buy a ticket?'”
He didn’t even realize he won until his accountants called and said they’re going to have the jiggle the taxes a little differently this year.
What’s the 34-year...
"You know they have a word, it sort of became old-fashioned, it's called a nationalist," Trump said said at a campaign event at the Japanese Toyota Center in Houston.
Trump was there to rally voters to support Sen. Ted Cruz, a man who Trump called a "pathological liar." Trump famously...
Top of the day to you, sage readers!
The Tilted Glass proudly introduces a blinding new addition to our striking team of staff columnists: Mr. Duncan Haywood-Petticoat Esq.
Mr. Duncan Haywood-Petticoat Esq. hails from the former colonies on the other side of Drake’s great sea. He is a stand...
The National Rifle Association is officially a gay organization, says NRA president Oliver North, in the following prepared speech:
Friends, to those who know us, this will come as no surprise.
I love a man in a uniform. Just as much as the next man.
Are you aware of the...
Duh. As if you had to ask? Right here. The Tilted Glass.
So please click our ads & send us money. If you don’t, trillions of registered voters will not have access to the Truth.
& if that happens, democracy will go TILT like a pinball machine. We hate tilt here at The Tilted Glass.
Believe me. Everything else...
Well this just dills my pickle. America’s two most beloved musical acts are joining forces!
They’re kickin’ off a ten-year long tour this very weekend over in Charlottesville. Come on down! You won’t wanna miss. What better way to spend time with the family than by boot scootin’ along with...
Here’s a story for you…
The banks give you debt so you can make them rich
The government gives you taxes so you can make them rich
Employers give you salary so you can make them rich
You get trapped in a lifestyle of debt as you make other people...
