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Is Accident Insurance Worth It? - Fortuna’s Seductive Guide

Nov 17, 2018

Greetings.  I am Fortuna, the goddess from Rome.  I stir your deepest fears and desires.

Behold my cornucopia!  I offer you good luck… and bad.  At times you will see me as veiled, like Lady Justice—but unlike Justitia, I carry no level balance on my arm.

You may be thinking about purchasing an accident insurance policy.  Such policies will pay you for a sudden, unexpected, and unforeseen event.   This includes on-the-job accidents, playing sports, recreational injuries, hazardous hobbies like motorcycle riding or scuba diving, and nearly any situation that involves an accident.

Behold the temples built to honor my name!  Behold those who've joined my cult and dedicate Midsummer’s Day to me!  My followers hang on the hope that my blessings might somehow be connected to their personal virtus.  That I might consider the strength of your character and turn the wheel your way.  It is said that public officials who lack virtus invite ill-fortune on themselves and Rome.

Accident Insurance policies generally cost anywhere from $20 to $35 per month for a family depending on the level of benefits and carrier.  Good plans also cover accidental death and dismemberment. For example, a trip to the ER might pay $500 for the ambulance, $1000 for the ER visit, $200 for the surgery, $1,000 for the hospital admittance, and $150 for a physician follow up.  Minus the deductible, of course.

What’s that in my hand?  Why it is the Wheel of Fortune!  Rota Fortunae.  It is I who steer destiny’s ship.  Not you, my slave.  Oh how you try.  But have you bowed at my feet and kissed my toes?  Have you prostrated yourself upon my bosom?  And are you now so attached to my fickle flirtations?

Ah.  I see.  It is clear.  You wish to purchase an accident insurance policy.  You tire of the ebb and flow of the ecology of my nature, like so many dear hunters and gatherers.  You wish to be a farmer, controlling and hoarding the outcome of crops in case of famine.  You wish to genetically engineer your own cornucopia.  You wish to control the fruits of my most wild desires.

Go for it.  Buy that policy.  Advertisements surround you, awaiting your click click clicks.  Try and hedge your bet.  You’ll see me.

Watch now as I slide sensually through it all.

Painting by Jean Francois Bernard, Fortuna

The Tilted Glass