Reality Adjustments

Trump: Russians To Help Monitor US Elections

Nov 03, 2018

The Russian military have been invited to serve as a third-party international monitor to the United States democratic process.

“Americans demand free and fair elections!” said Donald Trump in a recent tweet.  “So I’ve invited unbiased international election monitors to supervise our democratic process.  No fake votes!”

On Friday, Russian troops have begun mobilizing in small towns across America.  “They are there to help,” assured Trump.  “If you see any suspiciously colored voters, please alert the KGB immediately.”

The Americans have been accused of disenfranchising voters, hacking votes, and outright electoral fraud.  The Russians will provide a much needed sense of law and order to this third-world American republic.  

“Come election day,” finished Trump.  “Surrender your ballot to the Soviet army.  They will review each slip to make sure the politicians are correctly selected and then pass the ballot into the finest Russian-grade counting machines built by the finest Russian-grade mathematicians.  Spasibo.”

The Tilted Glass