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Gay CERN Scientists Discover New Sexual Category

It happened during pride month.  At the Skoliosexual Laboratories outside of CERN, agender ally Roman Smith was researching the cause of different sexual, romantic & spiritual attractions.

Their team of transgender pansexual physicists and demisexual-demiromantic lipstick lesbian botanists were researching the bicurious patterns within cisnormativity, when they found a new...

Let's Punish Litterers by Chopping Off Their Fingers

Call me old fashioned.

Yesterday I saw a man toss a piece of trash out the window.  As if that’s ok. Just “Hey I finished my plastic garbage, now I'll throw it out of my douchebag car and onto the street."

Fines don't work.  There is something fundamentally flawed with those who litter.  Luckily, there’s a perfect...

It’s Time to Abolish the Racist Senate

The Senate is an undemocratic artifact.  It gives small states large powers.

It is also racist.  It gives sparsely-populated mostly-white states more power than heavily-populated racially-diverse states.  A voter in Wyoming has 70 times more influence than a voter in California.  And taxpaying U.S. citizens in racially-diverse Washington D.C. and Puerto Rico have no...

Male Georgia Lawmakers Getting Rich on Coat Hanger Stock

ATLANTA, GEORGIA - Stock prices in the state's coat hanger industry are surging this week, which—curiously—Georgia's male Republican lawmakers are heavily invested in.

“It’s no surprise,” said Governor Brian Kemp, gleaming with newfound wealth.  “We have laws which have defined women as state property.  And in The Peach State we force...

How Do I Become an Icon?

Who am I?  How do people see me?  What is my “brand” or “religion”?  

Perhaps we never sought a clear answer to this question.

And so, unclear, our way of being is to echo what we like and don’t like.

We are echo machines.  We reflect...

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