Reality Adjustments

NRA: “Responsible Gun Owner” Vows to Start Civil War

Jun 17, 2019

LOUISVILLE, KY - NRA-member gun owner, Mark S., took to Twitter to explain how responsible he is.

“The only way to stop a bad person with a gun is a good person with three guns,” he said on Father’s Day.  “All of these children dying in mass shootings… they’d never happen if parents weren’t so messed up.  Guns are the answer.  Death is a cleansing force.  Guns keep people honest.  I am very responsible with my guns… unlike those hoodlums out there, our sworn enemies.”

But many people do not feel as Mark does.  Many people seem to suggest, that if you better regulate guns, you will stop mass shootings.  That the 2nd Amendment literally calls for better regulations, as it begins with “A well regulated Militia…”

People have very personal feelings about gun control.  Both sides cherry pick data to support their biases.  Even when statistical studies—like this here, here or here—demonstrate that gun control does work: that people can both keep their guns, and shootings can go down.

“Try to take my guns, snowflake!” tweeted Mark in response.  “I will shoot you and kill you and all of your family who tries to stop me.  I love our troops, but I will murder our troops if they dare take my guns.  Down with Fascist America!  Step on my lawn if you dare.  I will drink your blood and rape you.  True patriots unite!  The time for our Civil War is before us.  I'M FREE!”

Woah.  That escalated fast.  That escalated as fast as the rage that occurs in traffic, leading to gunfire over fleeing bursts of rage.

"Guns are in no way responsible for deaths by guns," repeated Mark, getting in the last word.  "You're just brain-washed by George Soros and Jesus Christ.  Shame on you for trying to make gun massacres political."

The Tilted Glass