Trump SOTU: “Blah Blah Blah Join My Cult”

Feb 06, 2019

WASHINGTON DC - Trump delivered a riveting State of the Union speech last night.  He blabbered on a bit before suddenly getting into the juice, stressing the importance of obeying his cult.  Here is the highlight from the speech:

"Patriotic Americans, you must be loyal to me, your leader, beyond all doubt.  I am the ultimate authority.  All skepticism and investigations against me must cease.  I alone carry special doctrine to make this country great again.

Your family will oppose you.  Your friends will oppose you.  Be strong.  You will win them over, or you will leave them.  We are your true family now.

The outside world is a scary place.  Mexicans will destroy us.  The snowflakes are trying to persecute us.  Women are trying to be men.  QAnon is your friend now.

The opposition does not think critically.  Everything outside of what I tweet is fake news.  All information outside of me are lies.  Think critically using my truth and you will be awakened.  Awaken to me.

I just start kissing beautiful women, it’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait.  And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.  Grab 'em by the pussy.  I am the law.

I will never show you my finances, because we are living in an economic miracle.  Join me and you can be a millionaire too!  I am your one true religion!  Thou shalt have no other gods before me!"

Trump later tweeted that "what followed, according to the real videos--the ones fake news won't show you--was standing ovation for 10 minutes by every single member of congress, respecting me like a real president."