Tilted Glass readers... help!

You are the smartest, most well-adjusted, and most caring group of people in the world.  You were also voted "Most Likely to Win the Lottery and Lose the Ticket” and “Worst Driver” in your high school yearbooks, but we’ll skip that part.

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Today a vegetarian committed a homicidal massacre against a family of raw carrots.

“I picked them myself from my organic garden,” said Jane Tiller, 33, from Ashland Oregon, with pride.  “I love picking vegetables from my garden.”

She feels proud for her bloodshed.

You see, Jane didn’t eat an apple or an...

🤔Out of all people, we are looking to our readers to answer this question. You know best. Please help me. 

Because our readers are known for your abilities to fly past enemies within, outside, above, and below... through the chemtrails and into blue skies where government media mind control radiations are...

In response to the wave of mass shootings, today the NRA has released a list of 10 Tips to Stay Safe.  

This 10 step plan will ensure as much safety as possible for a better America.

NRA: 10 Tips to Stay Safe

Outside is unlikely to be safe.  Don't leave...

The world celebrates Stephen Hawking’s final journey today, as he decided to enter a black hole.

Stephen Hawking, left this dimension at 76 years old, the same day as Albert Einstein's birthday, also known as Pi Day.

Diagnosed at the age of 21 with Lou Gehrig’s disease, Hawking was given...

Hark!  Greetings to you, my friend, in this time of the dictatorship of mechanical devices!

You, like me, surely remember the days of yesteryear, before this town installed its great clock tower with its gears and escapements and its cacophonous bell ringing upon the hour.

We used to awake with the sun.  Sleep...

A successful healthy relationship takes work, but not the stressful kind you might think.

We asked the birds flying between the desiccated winter tree branches that grow out of you and your partners' opened skulls for their top 5 tips to making a healthy and lasting relationship.

1. Have fun together

Life...

NASA has announced its next space shuttle mission.

“We're sending our resident aliens to invade Earth,” said NASA spokesperson, Gary Jupiter.  “Mostly they'll come, hover ominously for a few days, blot out the sun, and scare people with threats of anihilation.  Then whoosh disappear!  It’s going to be sweet.”

The controversial move...

How I Yearn for the Machines of the Future to Come!

The steam engine.  The spinning jenny.  The cotton gin.  The telegraph.  The sewing machine!

Bring me your steel and dynamite and vaccines, electrically charged!  I invite you, our coming robotic utopia!

Soon I will not have to plow my...

Districts in Michigan, NE Ohio, the Bahamas, Saudi Arabia, & the Congo All Affected

Hell has officially frozen over today.  All schools are closed.  This includes districts within Ashtabula County and the Amazon Rainforest.

Todd Mythos, our in house meteorologist at The Tilted Glass, has been analyzing the cold scientific...

The world-renowned British theoretical physicist—known for his contributions to the fields of cosmology, general relativity, and quantum gravity—has gotten really into Hole lately.

“I love the shape of her mouth as she screams,” he said in an exclusive interview with The Tilted Glass.  “So circular.  Love has this sweet but bad vibe. ...

The entire global pharmaceutical industry today has checked into an addiction treatment center in Orange Country.

“Our little Drugs has picked up a trillion dollar-habit,” said its concerned mother and father from Austin, Texas.  “I don’t know how it happened.  It just kind of blew up.”

Drugs has been in the...

The Earth has been spared a catastrophe!

Hostile aliens traveling from the Pleiades cluster with the intent to destroy Earth and devour all of our resources, have arrived to find our home "pretty much tapped out."

We are very disappointed to say the least.  It took us 130 parsecs to get here. ...