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When Facebook Deletes Itself…

Facebook deleted Facebook today in a parallel universe.

It was a headline that many people wanted to share on Facebook, but couldn’t, since there was no more Facebook.

“Let’s bring the world closer together,” has been the motto of Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg since its inception.  And with its deletion in...

Monsanto Patents Air

by The Tilted Glass Ministry of Truth

Great News, Citizens!

Today our beloved Monsanto Company has patented air.  Our country's leader and master, the supremely ascended Donald Trump, has signed an executive order approving such measures.

Monsanto—maker of nutritious Roundup, protector of small farmer seed banks, recycler of toxic wastes...

Trump Moves Harriet Tubman to 0.20 Bitcoin

The Trump administration averted a major scandal today.

Despite a 2016 announcement that legendary Underground Railroad conductor, Harriet Tubman, would be the new face of the $20 bill, the Trump administration has delayed the rollout of the new bills.  This leaves Andrew Jackson on the bill for the considerable future.

Women...

Facebook Changes Name to HeartWorm

The company has rebranded itself after recent backlash over data privacy.

Companies and people have always changed their names to get a fresh start.  In its early years, Backrub changed its named to the less sleazy Google. Guru Rajneesh changed his name to Osho after scandals in his free love...

Death Announces New Makeup Collection

Death has entered the beauty business.  The market has traditionally been dominated by Life.

“I’m taking a new angle on makeup,” said Death.  “Traditionally the art of makeup has been to celebrate beauty and also to hide indicators of aging. Well I’m done hiding.”

The collection covers all the traditional...

NRA Acquires Xanax from Pfizer

The National Rifle Association has purchased Xanax from Pfizer.

“This may come as a surprise to many," said NRA president Pete Brownell.  "The NRA is a 501(c)(4) social welfare organization.  But we noticed great synergy between our need to advocate guns getting the same rights as people, and also the need...

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