Reality Adjustments

Death Announces New Makeup Collection

Feb 24, 2018

Death has entered the beauty business.  The market has traditionally been dominated by Life.

“I’m taking a new angle on makeup,” said Death.  “Traditionally the art of makeup has been to celebrate beauty and also to hide indicators of aging. Well I’m done hiding.”

The collection covers all the traditional varieties you’ve come to love: foundations, powder, concealer, cheek stain, bronzer, mascara, eyeliner, brow pencil, and lipstick.  But with a twist.

“I strip away all of that,” said Death.  “My makeup is not about the visible.  My makeup is about the invisible.”

When you apply the Death collection to your face, it’s more of an internal feeling that begins to occur.  Upon touching the skin, it penetrates… this sensation enters which by contrast makes your active burst of life all the more obvious.  You are wearing wet dust upon a bony face.  Slowly the feeling continues to settle in in spite of active resistance.  A stillness.  A calming.  A flash of light.  Bursts of an undulating grid in a vast expanse of blackness.  The Death Collection has shown you things.  The Death Collection has sharpened you.  You wonder what if… what if you stayed here.  But no.  It’s is not your time.  Life and Death are just an illusion.  You cannot escape.  The only way out is through.  So you apply the makeup and join the theater.  Now is your time to play the fool.  Now is your time, my friend.

“Hot damn!” said one woman after she blinked and finished applying.  “What the hell was that?  I don’t know if I want this Death Collection, although I think I need it.”

Now available on Amazon, Walmart, and, well, everywhere.

The Tilted Glass