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NRA Acquires Xanax from Pfizer

The National Rifle Association has purchased Xanax from Pfizer.

“This may come as a surprise to many," said NRA president Pete Brownell.  "The NRA is a 501(c)(4) social welfare organization.  But we noticed great synergy between our need to advocate guns getting the same rights as people, and also the need...

ExxonMobil will Become 100% Green by 2020

The times they are a changin.

ExxonMobil is quitting fossil fuels.  There is a new CEO in town.  

In an epic shareholder battle, CEO Darren Woods has been fired by its shareholders.

“This is our reward after years of fighting dead end management,” said a spokesperson in an official statement.  “By...

Monsanto Makes Deal to Sponsor Sesame Street

In a cost cutting move, Sesame Workshop today announced that the Monsanto Company (NYSE: MON) has become its corporate sponsor.

Sesame Workshop president Jeffrey D. Dunn said that “In partnering with Monsanto, we can be sure to provide the best genetically engineered seeds and Roundup-purified products for our kids.”  

...

Ram Apologizes for Ad Via Hologram of Prophet Muhammad

Ram has created a hologram of the Prophet Muhammad to apologize for its Super Bowl ad.

The Super Bowl ad proved controversial because it overlaid Martin Luther King’s words atop Americans doing altruistic things, as if acts of service were somehow related to that damn truck, as if buying another heap of fossil-fuel-guzzling-future-scrap-metal...

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