The Tilted Glass
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Taylor Swift vs a Snickers Bar: Who is a Better Rapper?

Jan 04, 2018

The Tilted Glass Brings to you our #TiltedBattles.

Taylor Swift, the former country singer turned pop star, has turned to rap in her latest album Reputation.  

Some fans have embraced the change as her latest personal expression, comparing her to the likes of the Public Enemy or Jurassic 5.  Others feel she is culturally appropriating a false image to get more likes and soon it will all come crashing down around her.

We here have asked the question on all our your minds: But how does her raps stack up against a Snickers bar?  Here are the top 3 pros and cons for each:

Taylor Swift

Pros:

  • Is human
  • She has a bad reputation
  • Uses irony and self-awareness in her lyrics to show that she can be funny and smart

Cons:

  • Tends to rhyme Taylor with “gaoler” and Swift with “shrift,” requiring people to stop, break the flow, and pick up a dictionary
  • Is principally concerned with boosting herself in her lyrics, as opposed to using her gifts to shed a light in the dark frontiers of the human condition
  • Is built for mass production


Snickers Bar

Pros:

  • Its wraps are filled with candy 
  • Now with 21 custom wrappers that contain a new alphabet of possibilities
  • Is built for mass production

Cons:

  • Snickers bars are inanimate objects incapable of speech or response
  • Difficult to rhyme partially hydrogenated soybean oil with soy lecithin
  • After consuming, there is this profound feeling of emptiness, as if you've just been intaking nothing but plastic flavors wrapped in plastic labels


Share and comment your vote.  Time is pressing on this important battle.

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