Reality Adjustments
 

Fact Check: Do Evangelicals Secretly Advocate Gay Sex to Reduce Abortions?

May 21, 2019

Claim: A secret ring of evangelicals is advocating gay sex to reduce the number of abortions.

Rating: 100% True.

Origin: It began right here at The Tilted Glass when we wrote about the coverup scandal at the Church of the Second River of Grace in Stillwater, OK.

It was discovered that this conservative fundamentalist church was actually a front for gay sex.

“We were hiding in plain sight,” said pastor Ray Gold.  “I'll give you a tell: Those who struggle with being anti-anything are those who desire it the most.   When people vehemently campaign against homosexuals, to our church that is a sign.  This is why anti-gay preachers and politicians are often the most gay.”

So the church stopped fighting it and began to embrace it.  They became deliberately anti-gay to attract gay members who couldn’t come to peace with their own sexual identity.  The gay fundamentalist parishioners would then began to "heal" the newcomers during service, especially afterwards during late night bingo and trust fall activities.

After years of spreading their gay fundamentalist agenda across America, that’s when the pastor noticed: with all the gay sex they were having, there were statistically less abortions in their network than average.

“I knew that abortions were a matter for men to decide,” continued Rev. Gold.  “After all, Ephesians 5:22 says that wives must 'submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.'  And us men knew the most effective way of stopping abortions was through a healthy homosexual lifestyle, for both men and women and everything outside that binary... into that pure pure trinity.”

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