Reality Adjustments

Anti-Immigration Groups Move to Return Statue of Liberty to France

Mar 03, 2018

“This statue is Un-American,” screams Todd Sayers at a local Taco Bell.  “The statue was a gift from France to indoctrinate us with their lies.  Send her back!  You just lost your visa, Lady Liberty.  You're fired!”

Mr. Sayers has taken offense to the symbology of the statue, in particular its bold pro-immigration stance.  Mr. Sayers is part of a growing movement that wishes to redefine the statue as an affront to the "True Pure Caucasian Race of Americans."

“That cursed statue is an open invitation to Mexicans and refugees!  Have you read it? It actually invites people in from shithole countries!   Give us your wretched refuse?  Hell no.”

When asked what would happen to the Statue of Liberty in Las Vegas, Mr. Sayers said “nah, she can stay.  She's different.  That one symbolizes real freedom.  Plus she's always been my good luck charm at the casino.  One of these days I'm going to hit the jackpot in New York-New York.  Don’t crash down on my dream, bro.”

Here is the sonnet, “The New Colossus,” written by American poet Emma Lazarus.  It is quite a moving sentiment upon quite a moving statue. 

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
MOTHER OF EXILES. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

The Tilted Glass