WASHINGTON, DC - Breaking news from the White House today.
President Donald Trump appears to have had some kind of epiphany. He’s been tweeting ideas on new initiatives, and has sent apologies to women, foreign leaders, the press, and the late Senator John McCain.
Pressed by reporters for details, he’s released the following...
De-cluttering guru Marie Kondo has applied a concept from the fitness world to her organizational method.
The Netflix host and author of “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing” gained this new revelation from her personal fitness coach.
“After a tough round at...
Earth Hour is an annual tradition where people shut off their lights. It takes place this year on March 30, from 8:30 pm to 9:30 pm local time.
Timezone by time zone, the Earth will poetically spin through darkness as it has always done.
The goal of Earth...
Comrades, it is I, Czar Donald Trump, commander of the largest socialist army in the world! The U.S. Military! кричать ура!
I am pleased to announce that the U.S. debt to China is $1.13 trillion as of 2019. Thanks for funding our government, Chairman Mao!
We are using that Chinese...
Oh Great Godzilla, give me the strength to make...
The White House has a very serious problem: Rich individuals can’t own public schools. Rich people can only own private schools.
So how can the White House convince you that the public school system is broke? If they can convince you it's broke, then more public money can be given to private...
DUBLIN, OH - Emma & Harry Vicksmith have been planning their wedding for almost a year now.
“We are very much in love,” said Harry. “But have you seen how expensive everything gets? Vendors hear 'wedding' and suddenly everything triples. $2000 for a bin of Coca Cola? Who can afford this?!"
...
The Mueller investigation found that neither...
the crack to break through the endless thoughts...
Who ordered Chick-fil-A? It's not for...
Chick-fil-A is undoing its image as an anti-LGBT activist organization.
The fast food chain, owned by the Cathy family, made headlines in 2012 when its founder opposed equal rights for LGBTQ people. Despite their claims that "they've changed," they again made news this week when their 2017 tax filings showed donations of more...
A white man walked to the front of the taco truck line and ordered 3 tacos, medium spicy.
“Sorry, you can’t cut. You need to stand in line,” said New Hampshire Taco Truck owner Mario Felipe Gonzalez Perez as he pointed to the long line of mostly Mexican families...
At the Delta Delta Delta sorority of the University of Southern California, dozens of young women got together to partake in the ancient pre-Christian ritual of St. Patrick’s Day.
They opened a special variety of clover-based mead and discussed the priestly caste of "magico-religious specialists" known as the druids.
“I...
A college admissions scam is shaking America. It revolves around William Singer, the founder of the Key, which helped privileged children cheat on their college entrance exams by bribing exam officials, and also by bribing coaches of prospective student athletes.
Among the high-profile individuals caught up in the controversy are...
“In 1961, the Nobel Prize–winning physicist Eugene Wigner gave a thought experiment that demonstrated two observers can experience conflicting realities, proving there is no such thing as objective reality. That all observation is subjective, even upon ‘objective’ evidence,’ said US President Donald Trump, as he paced his gilded chamber, yanking...
