In a private talk with buddies today, President Trump was overheard as saying “If I could have one super power, it would be x-ray vision.  Can you imagine?  Mmm all these sweet ladies everywhere.  I'm just a kid in a candy store.  I’d pop so many tic-tacs.”

Many on the left were...

Trump lost a big bet today that affects all Americans for one calendar year.

It was at the Winter Olympics.  A special cocktail hour for world leaders.  It was all going well.  All the threats and name calling between countries that you see on the news were non-existent now.  Just world leaders...

Maybe you remember.  It was 8 long years with George W. Bush as president.  

His leadership caused you much grief.  The 2003 invasion of Iraq.  Fake WMDs.  Hurricane Katrina.   Torture.  The 9-11 terror memo.  Mission Accomplished.  Leaving the Kyoto protocol.  Tax cuts for the wealthy.  Insider contracts to...

The NRA has released a series of photos in response to the latest shooting.

It faces increasing blame for having created this broken system of gun massacres. 

The NRA has come under scrutiny that it has paid off politicians and distorted the second amendment to include weapons the founding fathers could never have dreamed...

In wake of the Florida school shooting on Wednesday, the #GunReformNow debate has re-sparked.  Because it is never going away.  Because we are failing our kids.  Because we are failing our society.

When kids became sick during the tide pod challenge this year, NY lawmakers were quick to respond, drafting bills...

A proton inside of a carbon element is having an existential crisis lately.

“How?” muttered the distraught proton, who along with 5 others form a carbon element inside of a collective of molecules and cells that make up Trump’s Patriotic Flag Post.  “Over the years we’ve advanced so far as a...

Entitled “The Last Straw Act,” the State of California has passed a bill to execute anyone caught using plastic straws.  This law spans all types of disposable plastic: Fans of single-use plastic bags and plastic silverware shall not be spared.

Citing environmental disaster in our oceans, marine life, coral reefs...

For Trump’s State of the Union speech today, he called “Miss America at least a 9, probably a 10.  She gets turned on by freedom, which makes her a bit wild and kinky; but she also likes to be tied down. Just my type.”

The president went on to explain...

The Rock already has actor, cement mixer, and sculptor on its resume.  Now it can add a run for the president of the United States of America.

When asked why its running now, after 4.5 billion years, it replied that “Trump must be defeated by any means possible.  And frankly...

In a surprising move today, the FCC has voted to kill this cute baby puppy.

“It’s actually my daughter’s puppy,” said FCC chairman Ajit Pai.  “The puppy's name is Arpa.  I wanted to kill it before he became a killer attack dog, with the way I would have raised him.  My daughter...

Frankie Villoso, a Donald Trump loyalist, was not bothered by news today that The Donald paid adult porn star actress, Stormy Daniels, $130,000 to keep quiet in a sexual affair he had while married to Melania.  The news surfaced through another porn star, Alana Evans, who claimed the two invited her...

Donald Trump is taking his words to the wrestling ring!

Donald Trump, president of the United States of America and self-proclaimed "Inter-Gender Wrestling Champion of the World,” offered a both $1,000 prize and lifetime supply of Trump Steaks to any woman who could pin him down.

“You women need to stay in the kitchen, stay in...

War is over.  Peace is now!  It has happened.

Donald Trump has declared world peace.  Just in time for Christmas, he signed a new executive order that immediately re-purposes all military personal and war machines.

Executive order number #655321, referred internally as “North Pole #1,” includes the following:

Donald Trump has resigned today as a result of the multiple sexual assault allegations.

The latest in the wave of #MeToo casualties, his resignation comes as the latest fallout in...