Reality Adjustments

Leaked! Trump's Sexy Valentine Texts to All His Girlfriends

Feb 14, 2019

Donald Trump’s steamy Valentine’s Day texts were leaked today.

The president had been on a midnight bender, texting his many love interests.

While the public is accustomed to America’s first “Porn Star President,” less known is his style of flirting.  Just how he seduces his many love interests.  Now we know.  Here's some of the highlights.

To Playboy Playmate Karen McDougal

“You’re hired.”

To Slovenian model Melania Trump:

“How’s this for tomorrow’s headline: US Invades Slovenia.”

To porn stars Alana Evans & Jessica Drake:

“Now you may come into my tower.”

To porn star Stormy Daniels: 

“You are my hole in one.”

To his daughter, Ivanka Trump:

“If you weren't my daughter, I'd be dating you.  And I bought you a DNA test so we can be sure.”

To the 22 women who’ve accused him of sexual misconduct:

“You’re ugly.  I shall grab you now.”

Wow!  Whatever you feel about his politics, one thing is for sure: The Donald knows charm!

The Tilted Glass