Trump Extends National Day of Mourning for Remainder of Presidency

Dec 05, 2018

On Tuesday December 5th, the United States of America observed a national day of mourning to honor former President George H.W. Bush, who recently died at the age 94.

Days of mourning are rare events called to recognize former commanders in chief.

In a bizarre move, Trump extended the day of mourning from one day to over two years, until January 20th, 2021: Trump’s last day in office.

As a result, the following federal observations shall be in effect for the remainder of Trump’s presidency:

• Flags at public office buildings will be flown at half staff
• The New York Stock Exchange and Nasdaq will be closed
• All federal offices will be closed, except for reasons of national security or essential public businesses
• The U.S. Postal Service will not deliver regular mail
• Many national parks will be closed
• The Supreme Court will delay arguments
• The House and the Senate will postpone activities
• Federal courts shall be closed

When asked why he did it, shutting down much of American society, including its socialist-run national parks and post office, Trump said “The death of George H.W. Bush is not about him, it's about me.  His death helped me realize something about the dark night of my own soul.  What’s two years to reflect upon eternity?  To reflect upon the fall of Eden and the curse of mankind?  We are in midst of a major revolution the world has never seen the likes of. I am the figurehead to this Greek tragedy.  Years of mourning shall be needed to process my rise and fall.  Plus, Melania likes to see flags go low.”