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The 97% Hater Manifesto

I see you trying to make the world a better place And I feel hate inside

I see you wanting to help those less fortunate And I insult your naive innocence

I see you trying to save the whales, the dolphins, the oceans And I angrily label you a bleeding...

Man Stuck Playing Devil’s Advocate

Chicago, Illinois

Something broke somewhere. A record player got stuck skipping into the same old groove. 

Thirty-year-old contrarian James Smith of German, English and Czech descent—who also mentions that his “great-grandmother was probably full-blooded Cherokee”—found an opportune moment to play devil’s advocate at a party for post-doctoral students.

It was...

“Down with labels! We’re just sexual beings!” says Orwellian newspeak agent.

“Just to be clear, I am an ally,” said Orwellian newspeak agent Syme.  “Whether you’re heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual, polysexual, pansexual, omnisexual, skoliksexual, demisexual, grey-ace, asexual, polyamorous, intersex, MTF, FTM, agender, genderfluid, bigender, trigender, pangender, genderqueer, demigirl, demiboy, androgyne, intergender, nonbinary, questioning, homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic, or aromantic.”

Then Syme adjusted their...

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The Tilted Glass