Reality Adjustments

GOP Announces Exciting New Plan to Eliminate Clean Water

Apr 10, 2019

After years of fighting healthcare and public schools, the GOP has introduced an exciting new bill to eliminate clean water.

Called the Water Freedom Act, the bill will “eliminate costly government regulations that clean and protect our rivers, oceans and lakes.”  It will “let business and citizens do whatever you need to do with water, without government trying to stop you.”  It also paves the way for the complete privatization of water, letting “you pay the companies you love most for access to clean water.”

As expected, the country was bitterly split over the issue.

“I just love my water freedom,” said area voter Blake Bronson.  “Water needs to be free!  Typical liberals hate America and hate free water.  They want an atheist communist government to make water un-free.  They are snowflakes, trapped in the crystalline pattern of their frozen stupidity.”

To which area resident Darlene Parsons tweeted, “So what’s left?  Privatize the air we breathe?  Is the air communist too?”

The Tilted Glass