Reality Adjustments

Trending: Nation’s Husbands Invent Emergencies to Win Negotiations with Wives

Feb 16, 2019

A new trend is taking America by storm.  America’s husbands have begun declaring emergencies to avoid negotiating with their wives.

“I just find it so much easier this way,” said Fred Carson of Aurora, IL.  “I wanted to watch the game.  My wife wanted me to cook.  So I declared there was a personal emergency I just had to take care of.  The shock of it threw her off, and she yielded.”

Jimmy Fernandez of Sacramento, CA had similar things to say.  “I learned that instead of saying I’m going to happy hour with my female coworkers, I can just say there’s a work emergency.”

Other men have used emergencies to get sexual favors, avoid family commitments, and make up for forgetting anniversaries and birthdays.

Not all women are happy with this trend.  “If he declares emergency one more time,” said Shiela Thomas of Richmond, VA.  “I’m going to whoop his ass so hard he goes to the Emergency Room.  This is bullshit.”

The Tilted Glass