Today in Heaven, reports from high ranking Seraphim are coming down the line that  it that the Lord God—YHWH, Elohim, El-Shaddai, Adonai, Jehovah—is considering a second flood.

“Y'all aren't changing yourselves,” Jehovah is rumored to have mused.  “Racism, misogyny, animal abuse, environmental destruction, overpopulation, unchecked capitalism, consumerism, technocracy, religious fundamentalism, and...