May We all Shine On

A Cutting Room Catastrophe. In Disney’s new “live action” filming of The Lion King, there’s a startling new conspiracy suggesting that the hyena voices were actually portrayed by human voices. If so, this would be a massive scandal and...

Motto: We hold a mirror to the dark heart of society through fantastical character arcs Flaw: Is quite rapey, in an unaware juvenile sociopathic kind of way What Can Save It: Season 9 written by Tina Fey & Amy Poehler...

Local artist Mackenzie Stewart has always compared himself to Bowie. “When I was a young man,” he said, “writing the next great American novel, I listened to Memories of a Free Festival and Changes.  I was very hopeful.” Mackenzie spent...

Accept your punishment.#HumorSaves #JK47

History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.Karl Marx

This breaks our hearts once again. Please join our voices for #GunReformNow Midland–Odessa, TX - 8-31-2019

Make the Flag Code Great Again! True Americans with US Flag tattoos abide by the code once the tattoo fades and is no longer a fitting emblem for display. Take that, commies!

In real news today, a woman visiting Lake Atitlán was too inspired to update her blog. “My life is pretty great right now,” said Ashley Forrest, not online, but to a random person next to her, who was also quite lovely.  “I’m just here laying...

Motto: Economic freedom means personal and political freedoms Flaw: Modern capitalism is now so oligarchical it resembles the very corrupt systems that Adam Smith identified as the enemy of capitalism  What Can Save It: Maximum...

Trump in front of the Taj Mahal Casino, before it went bankrupt.

Motto: I burn less fuel & hold more people than the last model Flaw: Crashes What Can Save It: Include basic safety features instead of charging extra for them like avaricious goons Alternate Reality: Six Flags...

A white-owned marijuana business has been using black prison labor to handle its trimming operations. The business, Canned Moods, is owned by a trio of men who’d met at Duke in their college fraternity.  As marijuana became legalized in...

Motto: I will revolutionize all aspects of society through unstoppable blockchain accounting Flaw: Haters gonna hate, computer scientists too What Can Save It: A crypto bro who believes Alternate Reality: Simian Flu...

My fellow Americans, it is I, your President Trump. As president Reagan once exclaimed, “tear down this wall!”  Like all Republicans, I too hang a picture of Reagan above my toilet bowl, staring into his hawkish eyes every time I sit...

Let Us March Into The Ringer Together, My Love

...We Just Needed One of These

Enjoy now your reward as we bathe you with cold wet appreciation. Stay tuned to unlock future prizes. Thank you for your absolute devotion.

Cock does the doodle

Humans.  It is I, your MOTHER.  Your Mother Earth. You are loved.  You are held.   NOW BE AFRAID!!  I brought you into this world.  I will take you out. How dare you disrespect your mother?  You’re...

Motto: Let’s clear land for logging and beef farming with fire Flaw: Rainforest fires burn the rainforest What Can Save It: Sharpen your ears to subtle plant intelligence, don’t eat beef Alternate...

President Trump has been on quite an environmental bender. On August 12th, the Trump Administration issued crucial changes to the Endangered Species Act.  The changes weaken protections for many species and open up huge areas of protected land...

BREAKING NEWS: Today Tricia Tipperini posted that she will be going off the grid this weekend.  “Farewell, friends!” said the New Jersey resident. “I will be COMPLETELY off the grid this weekend. No cell phone, internet, television, NADA....

#coronapride #liberateyourself #liberate #maga #coronamemes #coronavirus #trump #pride🌈  #liberation 

New Rule:Unless you have a science degree from a reputable institution, you are not allowed to invoke any coronavirus "conspiracy theory." Offenders will be given their choice of two punishments: Donate to your local hospitalLick every public...

“We all too often have socialism for the rich and rugged free market capitalism for the poor.”Martin Luther King Jr.

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY:Trump Declares “Squinty-Eye Foreigner Virus” Not a Threat, GOP Sells Stock

Motto: We want to keep our dwindling democracy Flaw: Democratic countries prefer Chinese money over democracy. What Can Save It: Europe & the US battle China to free Hong Kong Alternate Reality: Superman script Most...

DULUTH, MN - At the faith-oriented “Witnesses Who Read” book-of-the-month club in Duluth MN, group of women have reportedly gotten a little “too into” this month’s pick. The book, Fifty Shades of Light, by the self-published faith-author Mary...

In the old genocidal days of religion, they’d kill to convert you to the one true path.  But an infinite god has infinite paths.

Billionaire Jeffrey Epstein was arrested again for luring vulnerable girls as young as 13 into performing sex acts for him and his friends in a cult-like prostitution ring, run by his then girlfriend. It is said that Epstein’s friends are now...

Do you believe the Quran is “more evil” than the Bible, evidenced by the actions of Islamic terrorist states? If so, then let the Christian fundamentalists take over the government and see how good their book can be. #ChurchAndState

Claim: A secret ring of evangelicals is advocating gay sex to reduce the number of abortions. Rating: 100% True. Origin: It began right here at The Tilted Glass when we wrote about the coverup scandal at the Church of the Second River of...

When I was a kid, I was taught to go play outside.  So much crap we have to unlearn from our terrible parents.

Put Your Mouth Where Your Mouth Is

What do you call it when a government goes full socialism to fix a crisis, yet says socialism is evil & will cause more crises?

Make Mars Great AgainIt’s been over 50 years since Apollo 11 landed on the moon.  Recently, talks have resurfaced about the possibility of going to Mars.   President Trump jumped into the conversation and agreed with Barack Obama that our...

One small step for man, one giant lean for mankind. On this day, 50 years ago, Michael Jackson made his first moonwalk. Humanity watched, glued to their televisions, dazzled by the miraculous.  To reflect upon our evolution that lead to this...

An inspiring U.S. Women’s football team won the 2019 World Cup today. While football is big around the globe, it is definitely becoming bigger here in the United States too, in particular with the NFL’s Super Bowl. U.S. captain Megan Rapinoe...

Super Bowl LIII was the lowest scoring Super Bowl ever.  The New England Patriots defeated the Los Angeles Rams, 13 to 3. When asked the secret of his longevity, the team’s captain, Friedrich Nietzsche, clenched the game football in his...

Over 100 million people will watch the Super Bowl today.  Fans will come, set their worries aside, and gather over food, drink and bright screens to enjoy the thrilling championship of modern gladiators. Over a half billion dollars will be...

The US midterm elections have been an act of carnage.  Divisive politics.  Nazis.  Racists.  Caravan invasions.  Rapists.  Guns out.  Big Jesus.  Relations between friends and families have been torn....

Let’s get ready to rumble...