#heroes

#heroes

Monumental The Tilted Glass

Won't you be my neighbor? When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to...

This is America - in minor key. The noise can feel hollow. I haven’t read a novel in ages. A movie is too long to shut off my phone.  Clips, 2 minutes, or less. Gorgeous music shuffles by, moving me out of time and context. I’ve been...

Here we share everything.

“Tell us about Jessica!” said Pete (31) to his friend Melvin (30).  “Are you excited to meet her in person?” Melvin met Jessica (27) on Hinge, a hot new online dating app.  Jessica seemed very promising: smart, beautiful, funny, cheerful,...

meow

This is Mexico: 1840.  Where would you build the wall? The Mexican-American war of 1846-1848 took away Mexico’s land.  But the people stayed behind.  People with families, kids, grandparents.  There were close to 75,000...

The U.S. Postal Service will soon launch scratch-and-sniff stamps to welcome in the summer. The series is inspired by the digital communication devices that have gutted the post office’s relevancy and bankrupted its fiscal books. Included are...

by The Tilted Glass Ministry of Truth Great News, Citizens! Today our beloved Monsanto Company has patented air.  Our country's leader and master, the supremely ascended Donald Trump, has signed an executive order approving such measures....

It troubles your soul to see rich people everywhere online and on TV, since you are not rich. But you are working so hard at your job.  You may have even made it to a low 6 figure salary.  But turns out it's not all...

by Elon Musk, magician Did you forget?  I’m magic.  You’re living in the 3D world.  Don’t you want to experience higher dimensions? Your boring bonehead questions are not cool.  Your questions are so dry.  They’re killing...

The coin is now one.  Heads and tails have combined. If you see a friend in a MAGA hat, give them some Yeezy sneakers.  If you see a friend in a Yeezy jumper, give them an oversized suit. There's a brand new danceBut I don't know its...

I saw her once at the cafe. I see him every week at the restaurant.  I see her around the temple church. How quicky I imagine a reality where I can flirt with her.  Where we are together. How I wish I could make a...

“Just to be clear, I am an ally,” said Orwellian newspeak agent Syme.  “Whether you’re heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual, polysexual, pansexual, omnisexual, skoliksexual, demisexual, grey-ace, asexual, polyamorous, intersex, MTF, FTM,...

#HardenUp #Robots

#affirmations

Be like shark.  Be alive.

Human, Nature.

Please don't forget you.

A-Hole suddenly appeared on the White House lawn today.  And it’s growing bigger.  “We aren’t exactly sure how it got there,” said White House official lawnskeeper.  “It just seemed to appear out of nowhere.  I didn’t...

Kim Kardashian West met with President Donald Trump and other prison experts, including senior adviser Jared Kushner, at the White House on Wednesday to discuss prison reform. "Great meeting with @KimKardashian today, talked about prison reform and...

MEMORIAL DAY - Donald Trump spoke to children today to honor these future World War III Veterans. “I are very pleased your future sacrifice with us,” said Trump, speaking at a meeting with Boys and Girls Clubs of America.  “Right...

Aaron Schlossberg, an NYC lawyer, recently became infamous due to his viral racist rants against Spanish-speaking people, in a city where over 800 languages are spoken. Donald Trump, an NYC reality TV star turned motivational leader, has also...

Flower Power, Bernie Boston, 1967. AR-10 Power, Kaitlin Marie Bennet, 2018.

MOSCOW — President Vladimir Putin on Tuesday opened a $4 trillion bridge directly linking Russia to the White House.   Days ago, Putin, wearing tough guy jeans and a jacket, stood on the Russian end of the four-lane bridge...

From the diary of Mark Johnson, yoga teacher: My students love me.  In fact, they are my disciples. I’ve studied 200 hours in a Bali teacher training to learn the ancient lineage of Power Yoga.  Yet my poses are timeless. The people who...

“Shut up!” screamed John Johnson (46) to his nephew Liam (10).  “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” John Johnson is a devout atheist.  And a proud one.  He joined Mensa when he was 30.  He teaches philosophy at Minnesota...

All my haters shall be attached in cycles of suffering, reincarnated for centuries as hungry ghosts and hell-beings. #TiltedZen

Canton, Ohio — Jesus Christ of Nazareth was stopped today by an ICE agent for having a “Spanish sounding” name. “You say your name is Jesus, huh?” said agent ICE agent Hans Weber.  “We don’t get much Hay-Zeus around here, Mr....

The GOAT asks "Will you worship me now?" A couple days ago we asked if you would worship the goat.   Today it is walking on water. Have you decided?  Is there even a choice?

Janice is about to begin a food cleanse tomorrow. It will be 6 weeks of liquid only smoothies, no sugar.  In the morning she will drink the juice of 21 freshly squeezed lemons.  She will be taking herbal supplements to detox the liver and...

Hey you! I hear you talking on your phone inside that cafe, that restaurant, and that grocery store. My!  Now you are having a video chat. Oh look, here we meet again in this movie theater.  I see you texting.  I see how you...

First Lady Melania Trump has not been seen for many weeks, once again, creating speculation about her whereabouts, with many theories veering into the realm of pure conspiracy. After weeks of silence, on May 30th she stuck her head out...

Tilted Glass readers... help! You are the smartest, most well-adjusted, and most caring group of people in the world.  You were also voted "Most Likely to Win the Lottery and Lose the Ticket” and “Worst Driver” in your high school...

If crop circles are made by aliens, then we are the aliens.  Check out Kansas's industrial farming grid from NASA satellites. From NASA: Resembling a work of modern art, variegated green crop circles cover what was once shortgrass...

The NFL has a domestic violence problem.  Its history of covering up or dismissing cases of NFL players beating and raping women has gone on for many years now. Pushed to the edge and feeling unheard, the players’ wives and girlfriends have...

It seemed like such a good idea.  Just a nice banquet of world leaders to celebrate the 2018 Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony. What could go wrong?  Everybody was there in the peaceful spirit of the Olympics.  Leaders from...

Nick Foles was fired from the Philadelphia Eagles today after calling Tom Brady’s young daughter, Vivian, an “annoying little pissant” during an on-air discussion.  “We are disappointed and embarrassed by Nick Foles’ on-air comments,” a...

[Updated May 2018 - Hawaii's Kilauea volcano] What I first saw an ad of a man golfing during a volcanic explosion, I was hooked.  It struck me as a real life example of collage artist Winston Smith, who is most well known for his work...

Roger Federer defeated Marin Čilić today in the Australian Open, winning his 20th grand slam cup. A legendary achievement for any athlete, especially at his age.  And a reminder why we should devote ourselves to stuff that doesn’t matter. ...